30 October 2012

Focused on the Association -- The 2k12-13 NBA Preview Edition

LeBron got his ring, Dwight Howard got out of Orlando and we get a full slate of games this season.  So can we now focus on the actual game?

We hope so.

The preseason awards and useless predictions:

First Coach to be Fired:
 
Avery Johnson, Brooklyn Nyets. Unrealistic expectations for what is, at best, a mediocre roster.  If they start slow, in this conference, Avery will be gone.

Don't be shocked if it's: Vinnie Del Negro, Los Angeles Clippers.

 
Breakout Season Coming From:

Bismack Biyombo, Charlotte Bobcats. But will anyone notice?
 
Don't be shocked if it'sDarren Collison, Dallas Mavericks


We Give Up On:

Rodrique Beaubois, Dallas Mavericks.  It's not because his coach hates him; it's not because he has had unfortunate injuries.  Roddy B is a bust because he sucks.  It's that simple.

 
We Still Say He's a Star In-the-Making:

Ed Davis, Toronto Raptors. But it's not or never.


Best Off Season, Team:

The Los Angeles Lakers picked up Antawn Jamison, Steve Nash and Dwight Howard, while holding on to Pau Gasol and, amazingly, lowering their salary cap number.  Is there anyone they can't get?


Worst Off Season, Team:

The Brooklyn Nyets just traded for the league's current Albatross contract then overpaid for an overrated point guard who promptly got hurt. Their reward?  They are now the Atlanta Hawks: a team with a glass ceiling of 40-45 wins, second-round flameouts and a perpetually maxed-out cap.  Hey, at least they have a shiny new building. 
 

Best Off Season, Fans:

They don't know it now but the Atlanta Hawks got rid of almost all of their bad contracts and are poised to rebuild the right way.  Now, can they overcome the fact that Atlanta is a horrible sports town and still get guys to sign there in the coming years?


Worst Off Season, Fans:

The Oklahoma City Thunder just traded away the reigning Sixth Man of the year.  Five days before the season started.  And got nothing that will help them today.  Life in a small market.  Or karma for stealing another city's team.

Best Off Season Trade:

When you obtain the best center in the game and don't give up either of your two best players, how can anyone else win this award?  Los Angeles Lakers acquisition of Dwight Howard.

Worst Off Season Trade:

The Orlando Magic being involved in a four-team trade in which they were the only team that failed to get better.  The Lakers got Dwight Howard; the Sixers got Andrew Bynum, the Nuggets got Andrae Iguodala and the Magic got...Aaron Aflalo?  No -- they got raped.  And it was a legitimate rape.

Sam Cassell Award for he who will bitch the loudest this season about the contract he voluntarily signed:

We gotta go Dwight Howard here, right?  I mean c'mon -- this has to happen.  Right?

Shawn Bradley Award for most undeserved contract given to a free agent:

The New York Knicks signed a 39 year-old point guard with a history of beating woman to a three-year contract and Jason Kidd promptly got his third DUI.  Good luck with that.

Tyronn Lue Award for he who will turn three good playoff games into a ridiculous long-term contract:
 
They weren't playoff games but Jeremy Lin has turned a spectacular-- but terribly short -- run into a ridiculous contract with the then-desperate Houston Rockets.  Spare us the, "best 26-game span in league history since J. Christ's rookie campaign with the Jerusalem Wanderers in the 27-28 season", crap.  The league had no film on him because he was a scrub.  As soon as the tape caught up with him, his numbers tanked.  They will continue to do so.  In two years, Jeremy Lin will be Ickey Woods.

Penny Hardaway Award for most overrated player in the NBA:

JaVale McGee, Denver Nuggets.  When did this guy become so allegedly talented?  The media have this guy as the next Dwight Howard, minus the menstrual drama.  We don't see it.

Fashion Award:

While the Spurs have some new alternate unis we're quite fond of and the Nyets have a whole new look that we don't dislike, the award has got to go to the Nuggets for this new alternate uniform, despite the Marquette shorts.  Beautiful! 

All-Jobless Team, as of 30 October:

PG –  Derek Fisher
SGLeandro "Babydaddy" Barbosa
SF – Josh Howard
PF – Kenyon Martin

C – Dan Gadzuric (hey, it was either him or Mehmet Okur)

Sixth Man: Michael Redd

Coach: Jeff Van Gundy

Rookie of the Year:
Anthony Davis, New Orleans Hornets.  Anyone picking someone besides him is just wanting attention.

Don't be shocked if it's: Damian Lillard, Portland Trail Blazers.


And the Number One pick in the 2013 NBA Draft belongs to:
 
Orlando Magic.


And finally, our annual Useless Playoff Predictions:
EAST:

Division Champions: Boston Celtics, Indiana Pacers, Miami Heat
Should get inPhiladelphia 76'ers, Chicago Bulls
The Scrum: Milwaukee Bucks, Brooklyn Nyets, New York Knicks, Toronto Raptors, Atlanta Hawks
Give the Slots to: New YorkToronto and Atlanta
Round One:
(1) Miami over (8) Atlanta
(2) Indiana over (7) Toronto
(3) Boston over (6) New York
(4) Philadelphia over (5) Chicago

Conference Semifinals: 
Miami over Philadelphia
Boston over Indiana

Conference Finals:
Miami Heat over Boston Celtics 
WEST:

Division Champions: Oklahoma City Thunder, Los Angeles LakersMemphis Grizzlies 
Should get in: Denver Nuggets, San Antonio Spurs, Los Angeles Clippers

The Scrum: Utah Jazz, Dallas Mavericks, Minnesota Timberwolves, Golden State Warriors, Portland Trail BlazersGive the slots to: Dallas, Utah.

Round One:
(1) Oklahoma City over (8)Utah
(2) Los Angeles Lakers over (7) Dallas 
(3) Memphis over (6) San Antonio
(4) Los Angeles Clippers over (5) Denver Nuggets

Conference Semifinals: 
Oklahoma City over LA Clippers  
LA Lakers over Memphis

Conference Finals:
Los Angeles Lakers over Oklahoma City Thunder


Your 2012-2013 NBA Champions:
 
Los Angeles Lakers, over Miami, in 5.

30 teams...82 games...236,160 minutes of pure roundball bliss!

Life is good.