Focused on the Music, Vol. 2

Top 75 New Albums of 2012.


Part II -- Numbers 60-51:


60. North American Tour (EP)
Kylie Minogue

This is an interesting little EP from someone not to be found heretofore in our library.  None of the material on it is new, it was released almost simultaneously with a full-length Greatest Hits set but contains none of that material in its original form, going instead with either stripped-down acoustic or live versions of five of Minogue's biggest radio hits.

We get the acoustic treatment, if included as bonus material to the full-length album or if singles were released form it  -- neither of which happened here. Playing out the string on a contract maybe?

Regardless, it's got some decent material on it. There's a slow-tempo jazzed version of Can't Get You Out of My Head (165) that goes beyond the standard acoustic strip down and throws in some keyboards and strings, clearly making it the standout track. At the other end of the spectrum, Kylie appeared to be channeling her inner Selena with the opening of Better than Today. Seriously, listen to the first ten seconds of this and tell us you don't expect the first words out of her mouth to be, "Bidi bidi bom bom".

Overall her voice gets pretty thin at the higher end of the register, particularly on the three live tracks. This is an intriguing EP for completionists but the casual or non-fan can pass it right by and pick up the full-length Greatest Hits album or realize that if this is the best, it's probably why he or she doesn't own any of the rest of her catalogue.



59. Kisses on the Bottom
Paul McCartney

Everyone has to do a standards album eventually, right?

Sir Paul waited about ten years too long.  His voice is just terrible.

This appeared to be the perfect vehicle for McCartney, smoothly crooning through the Great American Songbook (think No More Lonely Nights-type vocals), the perfect match of his melodic voice with Phil Ramone-produced composition.

What we get is very solid instrumentation, superb arrangements and great tempo overlaid by very weak vocals. Whether McCartney was just not comfortable with the material or if his voice really is that shot, the only song on which he sounded halfway decent was one of the two original tracks, My Valentine, (73).

It is incomprehensible to us that of the two remaining Beatles, Paul would have the lower-ranked album in any year. But, as you'll see in a few albums, there we have it.



58. After Hours
Glen Frey

Like we said, everyone has to do one of these eventually, right?

Frey neither destroys nor elevates any of these 14 songs but delivers an effortless vocal performance that holds its own with the best of them. With a stripped-down minimalism to the arrangements, he succeeds in creating a warm, intimate album of some of the most well-known numbers of all time. The result is the quintessential background album for a romantic dinner.

Despite the inclusion of one of our most-hated songs of all time in Route 66, the smoky seduction of The Look of Love and the rare gem Here's to Life more than compensate for that misstep of selection and, if we have to be honest, we find this recording of 66 to be amongst the most tolerable we've ever heard.

Frey declares this to be an homage to the music of his parents and is happy to have been able to record it before their passing. Mom and dad will be proud.

Our favorite track: For Sentimental Reasons.



57. Fanatic
Heart

There are a number of older artists whose music we have come to a late appreciation of. The music Bob Dylan, Robert Plant and Willie Nelson, among others, have put out over the last ten years has been some of their best and we thoroughly enjoy it. This is generally in line with most industry critics, who agree that their late-career stuff is more solid than what most folks are putting out at this place on the career arc. We don't really like their older stuff though though, which is of course what made them famous in the first place. It's an odd late-career "surgence", if you will, as we were never on board the original wave.

Heart of the late 1980's was the same way for us. We loved their eponymous LP, Bad Animals and Brigade but never really cared for their older material. Heart traditionalists would be agasp, we know, as clearly their late '80's stuff was a lot more polished and even poppy on occasion and these folks generally hated this period of the band's history. It's our preference for that period that drops this album to where it sits. Fans of their "classic" period will rate this much higher.

The traditionalists absolutely get their day here, in this lean 10-song collection which comes in at just under 40 minutes. This is vintage-sounding Heart, although in an odd move, the lead single, Walkin' Good, features...Sarah McLachlin? Yeah, we think it's weird too, but it works. Second single Fanatic rocks hard and is more indicative of the album as a whole, though our favorite track is Pennsylvania.



56. Under Fire
Green River Ordinance

We were turned onto these guys when we stumbled across their 2010 EP The Morning Passengers. It had a stripped down, Indie Rock/Texas Folk vibe to it and was a great little album.

This time the guys went for a bigger, more commercial sound and while we're sure it provided higher sales, it didn't necessarily make for a better record. They went from a band with a distinctive voice to sounding like Augustana  -- or in other words, like one indistinguishable from about a thousand other bands out there.

The album's high points come when they keep it simple, as on Love Laid Down, where they break out the banjo, and the absolutely stunning San Antone, (59). However, they come perilously close to Coldplay territory a couple of times, particularly on Heart of the Young, and that is never, ever a good thing, even if you are actually Coldplay.

We understand the need to generate sales and we hope this is just a temporary artistic detour for a very promising Ft. Worth band.



55. Ringo 2012
Ringo Starr

We were jonesing pretty hard for new music the week this came out. We had no iTunes pre orders delivered and were somewhat disappointed with the previous week's offerings so, in a moment of musical desperation, we bought this album. And you know what -- it wasn't half-bad.

It's Ringo -- the crazy uncle who's always good for a laugh. He's never going to offend; he'll keep the conversation going and will provide the comic relief at the post-funeral reception.

Ringo's not McCartney or Lennon and he knows it. So he doesn't try to be. He's musical Grisham. In today's music world, that honesty and self-awareness is refreshing.

Our favorite track: In Liverpool, (69).



54. It All Led to This
Scala & Kolacny Brothers

We first heard this Belgian choir when their song Our Last Fight (included on this album) was featured during season 3 of Sons of Anarchy. They are best-known for reimaging popular songs in choral form. The effect is pretty cool and the voices are always impeccable.

Where this album fails is in its song selection. It just happens that The Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Foo Fighters and Coldplay are amongst our least-favorite bands ever. The You Oughta Know remake is redundant, once Alanis Morissette released the acoustic Grammy performance of the song (which scared the shit out of every male viewer).

They put a nice spin on Depeche Mode's Enjoy the Silence but at several points on the album, the pianist misses notes. Seeing as how it was the only accompanying instrument, we don't see how these missteps could not have been easily edited out. In any event, the poor song selection made it impossible for us to ever really get into this record.



53. Sun
Cat Power

Chan Marshall took six years to make this album. During that time, she battled addiction, went through a gruesome breakup and obsessed over every single detail of the self-produced project -- at one point completely throwing everything out and starting over.

Interestingly though, instead of putting out an album in which she dumps all that shit all over us, she instead points the camera outward and offers a detailed take on the world she sees around her.

This album takes a few plays to grow on the listener, as it so differs from the depression-fueled introspection of everything else in her catalogue. The change is intriguing. While she walks the tightrope of overproduction (we hear the dreaded auto-tune on a couple of songs), this labor of love reveals something new to us with each play and with six more months' listening, would probably be a good 20 spots higher on this countdown.

Our favorite track: The past-repeats-itself/quit your bitching anthem, Ruin, (17).



52. Slipstream
Bonnie Raitt

By this point in her career, we'd like to see Bonnie Raitt record more material she writes herself. She's proven she can, with a Number One song (Nick of Time) and several other quality tunes sprinkled throughout her catalogue. On this album she only had one lyric credit (and is listed third, at that). While she uses some of her regular songwriters, she also throws in two Dylan covers and remakes Gerry Rafferty's Right Down the Line, with a reggae bent. Unfortunately, the conversion of "...woman, Right Down...", to "...Oooh Ba-by, Right Down..." is poorly executed and turns the song from a fresh update to a grating annoyance.

There are some high points, such as the splendid Not Cause I Wanted To (35) but we can't help but deduct for not writing any of the material herself.



51. Love is a Four Letter Word
Jason Mraz

We really got suckered into buying this album. We rarely buy singles, unless there is no album or if we know we're never going to buy the album because of the artist.

This was the case when we bought the song, "Lucky", which featured not one but two artists whose albums we'd never buy. Still, we really liked Jason Mraz's and (we can't believe we're actually tying this) Colbie Caillat's vocal arrangements and picked it up at the iTunes store.

Then the first single of this album, I Won't Give Up came out and we figured, what the hell.  Maybe dude has turned a corner and we can get into him. Then the second, The Freedom Song, was released, with proceeds going to Gulf Hurricane relief efforts.  Always being suckers for music-as-charity, we scooped it up. At that point, we figured we may as well just get the whole thing.

It's a little poppy for our tastes and the live version of The World As I See It actually made us throw up in our mouth a little bit it was so schmaltzy, but Mraz sprinkles in the occasional good lyric and generally avoids the singer-songwriter trap of an inflated sense of self-importance, with lyrics such as when he asks himself, "Are you begging for attention/Or do you love the one you've found?", on "5/6".

In the end, it's about what you'd expect from a Jason Mraz album and it didn't really change our view that the best thing about him is all the MILFs that show up for his concerts.

We really like cycling past the arena on those nights.

Our favorite track: You Fckn Did It*
*Included on the deluxe version of the album.



Up Next: Numbers 50-41.          Previous: 75-61

Focused on the Music, Vol. 1

We're off!

Traditionally, we've limited the scope of our music reviews to the Vintage Album Review, wherein we take a record we owned on vinyl, re-purchase it digitally then review it.  Last year though, when compiling a list of the year's top 10 albums, we realized we had purchased a total of 49 albums during 2011 and could have done a full-on countdown (after we bought one more because the odd number was killing us).

This year, we're doing just that, complete with reviews of each album.  In order to be eligible, an album must have been released between 15 November 2011 and 14 November 2012 and must have been purchased by us during the same timeframe. 

We still very strongly believe in the album as an art form. If we hear a song we like, we buy the entire album, rather than just the single. Often times, we find a song takes on an entirely different feel within the context of the album. And of course, some of an artist's best work can usually be found amongst the unreleased.

Note that any song title with a number next to it in parentheses indicates a song's position on our Top 200 Songs of 2012 list, which will be coming out soon.

For now, we bring you the Top 75 New Albums of 2012.


Part I -- Numbers 75-61:


75. Overexposed
Maroon 5

After we heard the unimaginative and vulgar first single, Payphone, we cancelled our pre-order of this album. Nothing we have heard on the radio or via other samplings since has made us think twice about the wisdom of that decision.

If you own the first two Maroon 5 albums, you have everything they will ever do creatively. You also have at least one more Maroon 5 album than you need to.




74. Mount Wittenberg Orca
Dirty Projectors & Bjork

Bjork's Biophilia was the worst album of 2011 and, at the time, we postulated that it may have been the worst album we had ever heard. Well, congratulations to Ms. Guðmundsdóttir for outdoing herself on this collaboration with NYC's Dirty Projectors.

There is not a single song on this abomination that is worth hyperlinking and subjecting our readers to sitting through. While there are momentary flashes of the tolerable, the incessant use of vocals as "instruments" (and we are being generous here) renders them just that -- momentary. Picture a deranged homeless man randomly banging on trash cans, wailing unintelligibly, with this going on in the background. Then take away anything even remotely entertaining about that scene. That leaves you with this album, whose lone redeeming factor is its running time of a mere 21 minutes and change.



73. Ultimate Hits Remixed
DJ's at Work

We have no idea how we got this album. There is no way we pre-ordered it from the iTunes store, yet there is was one Tuesday morning in our Purchased bin. Having just won a protracted battle over a number of duplicate charges for pre-ordered albums, (if you have iTunes and pre-order albums, we strongly suggest you go through your back invoices to see if you were double-charged for anything -- we were repeatedly charged twice for pre-ordered albums, eventually receiving over $100.00 in refunds), we just didn't have it in us to once again go to war, over ten bucks.

What a pleasant little surprise this album was! Despite the annoying grammatical error in the album artist's name, (unless his name is actually DJ and he is at work), this is a decent little 60-minute mash up of a really eclectic mix of music all the way from the 80's through today, set to a pseudo-techno backbeat. Bowie's Let's Dance gives way to Europe's The Final Countdown leads to Gotye's Somebody That I Used to Know and on and on... From Lady Gaga, to Jason Mraz, to The Pointer Sisters to DuranDuran, a lot of territory is covered here and all of it at least passably, if not revolutionarily.

Unfortunately, we couldn't find a single cut from this album anywhere on the internet to link.



72. Swing Lo Magellan
Dirty Projectors

So after listening to quite possibly the worst album in recording history, what do we do? Well, we go out and buy their follow up, of course. We call this the Sour Milk syndrome. You open the refrigerator door; you know the milk is bad but ya just gotta smell it. There is no way in hell we were not going to buy this album.

And the first 30 seconds made us want to punch ourself in the dick for being so stupid. Seriously -- listen to the first 30 seconds of this (it gets really bad around :20 and really bad at :27). We're idiots, right? After being infuriated by the same vocals-as-instruments opening, the album never had a chance. We listened to the whole thing once, cursed aloud, relegated it to "second-worst album of the year" status and never listened to it again. Until this project. Guess what? It's not as bad as we thought. It's still one of the lowest-ranked albums of the year but at least we were able to find a favorite track this time around, Gun Has No Trigger. Being drunk while listening helps. A lot.



71. And Heady Fwends
The Flaming Lips

It pretty much goes without saying that a Flaming Lips album is going to be weird. They take it to a new level on this album, where they are joined by a number of guest artists. The result is very much like what we saw when we managed hotels in a former life: people get away from the spouse, kids and day-to-day responsibilities and lose their shit. From the opening track, 2012 (You Must Be Upgraded), featuring Ke$sha and the apparently un-credited Daleks, to visits with Bon Iver, Yoko Ono and Biz Markie, the results are as uneven as the sources but it works. It's an interesting, entertaining, yet exhausting album to listen to. Nothing on it is commercial and it's not something one can listen to more than once every couple of months, if that. We've never dropped acid but if we did, we imagine this would be a great musical accompaniment.

Our favorite track: The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, (197) featuring Erykah Badu.*

*Please note, the link does not go to the official video for the song, which is, roughly, a combination of a Cialis commercial, Rosemary's Baby and bukaki porn. Since we know a large segment of our readership just got really interested, here is the link but seriously -- make sure there are no kids around -- or anyone else you don't want knowing what a damned freak you are.



70. The Idler Wheel is Wiser than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You
More than Ropes will Ever Do
Fiona Apple

Seriously? With a title that long, this album better be worth the time we spent typing that fucking thing out.

Guess what -- it ain't.

The critics absolutely loved this record, lavishing it with praise for its raw emotion and revealing lyrics. We find the lyrics not particularly interesting and the intentional offbeat percussion a distraction. Well, that and the fact that she can't sing.

She tries to work funk, Tin Pan Alley, jazz and pop into one tour de force. The result is a jumbled, incoherent tour de crap. Judge for yourself. Here's the lead single from this train wreck, Every Single Night which, at number 242, was our lowest-ranked single of 2012.



69. Out of the Game
Rufus Wainwright

Mumbling mediocre lyrics on top of over-produced music, this album is just a mess. And a not very interesting one at that. It smacks of someone who thinks he is more clever, talented and witty than he really is.

It's not that this album is necessarily bad -- it's just boring.

Then, just as we are about to completely tune it out, we get to Montauk, which, as best as we can tell, is him telling his child that it is his -- the child's -- responsibility to fight the wars of discrimination on behalf of his two gay parents. Or protect them from each other. Or something. At this point, we just don't care.

Helena Bonham Carter makes an appearance in the video for the lead single and title cut, (108).

*By way of full disclosure, the iTunes album includes a 35-minute "making of" video and, listening to him perform the material raw and hearing him speak of it, we think producer Mark Ronson completely misinterpreted Wainwright's original intention, murdering what might have been a decent album.



68. Covers, Volume One (EP)
Cary Brothers

It's hard to rank very high with an EP, particularly an EP of covers.

We really like Cary Brothers' music and dig the fact that he usually throws a cover or two on each of his albums, as a change of pace and to put his particular spin on the songs he likes.

It's that very thing that makes this EP unnecessary and the execution thereof rather disappointing. These are five solid but unimaginative remakes. Brothers slows down Maps and goes a little heavier on the guitars than INXS did on Never Tear Us Apart (129) but other than that, these are pretty nondescript covers. If this is the last album he needed to turn in to finish out a contract and it was either this or a thrown together live set of his limited catalogue, we get it. If not, it's just an unnecessary record.



67, Viva Duets
Tony Bennett

We had the first part of this review already written, comparing how two very different aging artists have evolved their singing to keep recording when many people are living at the Home. The whole Dylan (never had a good voice in the first place but still evolved his singing -- and in his case writing -- to conform to his aging vocal chords) - Bennett (aging crooner moving from silky smooth to staccato legend) correlation fell apart when we actually listened to the album because issues much more pressing came to the foreground.

First -- this album is called Viva Duets because Bennett is paired with Latin artists, some of whom sing their parts in Spanish. But the arrangements are clearly standard. Not a cumbia, salsa or merengue rhythm to be found.

Second -- wait a minute. These arrangements sound really familiar. Come to think of it, so do Bennett's vocals on a good number of tracks -- like even when he laughs or scats. No way. They couldn't have...they wouldn't have.

They did.

They lifted compositions and, in some cases, actual vocal tracks and laid them down with the new artists' contributions, remastered it and shipped it back out the door.

We call bullshit.

Then again, with such a blatant sell out, maybe a Dylan comparison is in order.



66. Once Upon Another Time (EP)
Sara Bareilles

We've got much love for Sara Bareilles. Except when her ballads drrrrrrrrraaaaaaaagggggg out. Which is exactly what happens with most of this EP. While Bareilles shines in up and mid-tempo songs, she has yet to master the art of the slow song. Always-solid lyrics seem to get lost in a meandering delivery that never feels right.

Bareilles is an excellent pop song writer. She combines a superb non-auto-tuned voice with killer hooks and clever lyrics to craft some of the most listenable music out there. As such, she is already a "serious artist". We're not sure if she's trying too hard to create a "standard" when recording ballads or if she just can't pull them off. In either case, this is the clear weakness in her game and, as four of these five songs are in fact ballads, with the other being what amounts to a novelty song, this ends up being one of the more disappointing releases of the year, as compared

Our favorite track: The aforementioned novelty song and Ben Folds collaboration, Sweet as Whole, (128).



65. Merry Christmas, Baby
Rod Stewart

Rod went crooner about a decade ago, so the inevitable Christmas album was, well, inevitable. It's also pretty routine stuff. He brings in a few friends to help, with mixed result: Ella Fitzgerald and Chris Botti on What are You Doing New Year's Eve (good), Mary J. Blige on We Three Kings (surprisingly good), Michael Buble on Winter Wonderland (predictable), Cee Lo Green on -- who fucking cares? It's Cee Lo Green, so of course it was terrible.

There's really nothing outstanding here. Just a run-of-the-mill Christmas album.





64. A Green River Ordinance Christmas
Green River Ordinance

A nice, straightforward, for the most part acoustic little holiday EP from a local (Ft. Worth) band.

They play it pretty close to the vest and don't try to recreate anything.  And in this case, it's a good thing. 

A nice addition to the holiday playlist.

Our favorite track:  Their pleasantly spiritual rendition of Silent Night.



63. That's Why God Made the Radio
The Beach Boys

The quintessential Beach Boys album, full of sun, sand, cruisin' in cars and lots of girls. Like an ancient but serviceable Barcalounger, the Boys continue to do what they do well. Wiser for the wear, lyrics like, “Sometimes I realize/My days are getting on/Sometimes I realize/It’s time to move along/And I wanna go home”, are interspersed with the usual tales of frolicking in the California Sun.

No auto-tune, redubs or samples. Authentic Beach Boys fun, from the days when the major concerns of the day were what party to attend, which car to race and which wave to catch. In solid voice and played with the tight instrumentation and beautifully-layered vocals one would expect from the band, this album could have been released in 1965 and would have sounded right in place. Being the institution they are, it sounds right today as well. The only reason this album placed so low is that we're simply that into the Beach Boys.

Our favorite song: The title track (209).



62. North
Matchbox Twenty

We were hoping against hope that this would be an actual Matchbox Twenty album and not Rob Thomas & Friends as, much like with Gwen Stefani, we detest Rob's solo stuff, while really liking him within the context of his band. And for the most part, this album delivers on that count. Problem is, we forgot to worry about the fat and happy effect.

It's the worst thing that can happen to a rock band and it's all over this collection. There's just no passion, which is the very thing that differentiated MB20 from its contemporaries in their mid-90's heyday. While there are flashes of brilliance, such as the bridge on lead single She's So Mean, they are too few and much too far between.

The entire experience of this album can be gathered from a three-song stretch early on. Second single Overjoyed is a sappy mess (with the creepiest damned chorus this side of the opening line of Benny Mardones' Into the Night), Put Your Hands Up runs perilously close to Rob Thomas channeling his inner Adam Levine, then Your Song has all the elements of a great song -- except the passion. The closest the band ever comes to exerting that passion, as well as the energy and drive evidenced in their early work is on English Town, which, sitting right in the middle of the set, teases the listener with its potential, only to leave him disappointed with the succession of uninteresting midtempo ballads that make for a whole lot of filler as the band appears to just play out the string until they have enough material for a complete album.



61. Oceania
Smashing Pumpkins

To be fair here, this album probably ranks a lot lower than it should , simply because we're not all that big on the Smashing Pumpkins. We loved 1979 but beyond that have always been pretty lukewarm to them.

That being said, this is solid album for what it is. Billy Corgan is in great voice, the band plays impeccably and this absolutely has the "feel" of a Smashing Pumpkins record. If you're a fan you will love this album. If, like us, you are a casual listener, you'll appreciate the complex layering of the music, the meticulous creation of a mood, then tire of Corgan's voice, all the songs will start to run together and you'll be over it.

Our favorite track: Violet Rays (156)



Up Next: Numbers 60-51.

Focused on the Arena, Vol. 3

Ten post-election thoughts.

1) Despite the electoral blowout (we'll get to that in a bit), this was a fairly close election.   There are two clear options ahead. 

The first is for the Democrats to say, "we won, so we don't need to compromise", and for the Republicans to say, "51% isn't a mandate and we won't compromise."  This is the expected action but it is also a stupid one.  It does nothing but perpetuate the current Washington gridlock.

The second option is for both sides to look at this and say, "gee, the country seems pretty-well split down the middle as to how we should approach things.  Of course, this also means both sides of any argument has a large base of support.  Let's work together to find solutions that work best for the country."

That second option is what needs to happen.  Tip O'Neil was one of the most liberal congressmen ever.  Yet, as Speaker of the House, he worked often with several Republican presidents to get shit done  -- because that was his job.  Representing one's constituents does not mean doing everything you can to block the other side from accomplishing anything.  It means making the best deal you can.  That means you will sometimes lose.  That means you will sometimes get less than you want.  That is how the system works.

2)  The top two Democrats and top two Republicans in the House of Representatives and Senate should immediately announce they will not be running for leadership positions in the new Congress.  They have failed in their jobs and have exhibited no leadership whatsoever.  Eight new leaders should be installed and given an opportunity to actually lead.

When we mentioned this to a Republican friend, she said that wouldn't be fair because it takes two to tango and the President should also resign in that instance.  We disagree.  The President was just reelected, so obviously more people approve of his leadership than do not -- or at least prefer it to the Republican nominee.  None of the top eight members of Congress faced reelection this year.  While the President does indeed need need to exhibit strong leadership in creating a culture of bipartisan collaboration, he needs to do so with a new Congressional leadership team.

3)  The Republicans aren't really as conservative as their loudest members would like us to believe.

A party nominates its presidential standard bearer through the primary process.  In that process, people who identify themselves as being a member of the party vote, state by state, on who they think should be their party's nominee for President of the United States.  Some states have open primaries, where anyone can vote but, for the most part, if you are voting in a Republican primary, you're a Republican.  That being the case, by definition, the nominee is the person the most number of Republicans agree with on the issues.

Let's take a look at the last four Republican presidential nominees.

2000, 2004  - George W. Bush.  A moderate who beat out a number of more conservative challengers.

2008 - John McCain.  A moderate who beat out a number of more conservative challengers.

2012 - Mitt Romney.  A Massachusetts Republican, which amounts to damned-near a Democrat, who beat out a number of more conservative challengers.

That's almost twenty years of moderate Republicans beating out more conservative challengers within their own party.  While the Bachmans, Palins and Santorums are the loudest, they are clearly the minority not just in the country as a whole but also in the Republican party.

4) If you are moving to Canada because Barack Obama was reelected, you are a jackass.  You also apparently know nothing about Canada, where they have universal health care and pay more taxes than the United States.  Oh, and there's also no death penalty, eh.

5) The electoral college system as currently constructed is flawed.  Going in to Election Day, the President was expected to carry 16 states, while Mitt Romney was expected to carry 23.  11 were up for grabs.  The President claimed five of them and it was over.  He eventually took more states but could have only won 21 and still been reelected.  Basically, the Democrats won the votes where the people live.  And that's a problem.  They appear to have systematically targeted the specific areas where they needed to win the votes to get to 270 electoral votes.  Now, the Republicans did the same thing but just weren't successful. 

If a Democrat were to somehow carry Texas, he or she would only need to carry 10 more states in order to be elected President.  This is what the electoral map would look like.  In such a scenario, the candidate could win the popular vote by a single vote in each of these blue states, while losing the red ones 100% - 0%, resulting in a disparity of as much as 10 Million votes, while still claiming the presidency.  While not likely, it is disconcerting to us that such an outcome is even possible.

If all states were to adopt a policy like that of Nebraska, wherein the electoral votes are split, based on the percentage of the popular vote carried, you'd see a whole lot more visits to Laramie and Laredo than you do now.  And that could only be a good thing.

6) If you did not vote, shut the hell up for the next four years.  You had your chance.

7) To Donald Trump -- go away already, you jackass circus clown.  Maybe if you'd have focused on your business entities and not your sideshow carnival act, your management company might not have lost the contract for the building that has your damned name on it!  You're fired!

8) People need to dial down the hatred.  We voted for Mitt Romney, too.  We lost.  Such is life.  The patriotic thing to do now is not to wish failure upon the guy we didn't vote for.  The patriotic thing to do is say we hope we were wrong.  We hope the President succeeds and leads us to better times.  We hope that in four years, we look back and say, "yeah, that was the right decision."  We'd rather be successful as a nation than right personally.

9)  Why do we not have instantaneous electronic voting?  Can we work on that in time for 2016?

10) Whether your guy won or lost, take a break from your vitriol to appreciate the fact that you love in a country where you get to vote.  And try to realize that simply because someone disagrees with you, that doesn't make them an idiot.  Now, they may very will be an idiot -- just not because they disagree with you.

Keep the Faith,

-Gary

Focused on the Association -- The 2k12-13 NBA Preview Edition

LeBron got his ring, Dwight Howard got out of Orlando and we get a full slate of games this season.  So can we now focus on the actual game?

We hope so.

The preseason awards and useless predictions:

First Coach to be Fired:
 

Avery Johnson, Brooklyn Nyets. Unrealistic expectations for what is, at best, a mediocre roster.  If they start slow, in this conference, Avery will be gone.

Don't be shocked if it's: Vinnie Del Negro, Los Angeles Clippers.

 

Breakout Season Coming From:

Bismack Biyombo, Charlotte Bobcats. But will anyone notice?
 

Don't be shocked if it's:  Darren Collison, Dallas Mavericks

We Give Up On:

Rodrique Beaubois, Dallas Mavericks.  It's not because his coach hates him; it's not because he has had unfortunate injuries.  Roddy B is a bust because he sucks.  It's that simple.

 

We Still Say He's a Star In-the-Making:

Ed Davis, Toronto Raptors. But it's not or never.

Best Off Season, Team:

The Los Angeles Lakers picked up Antawn Jamison, Steve Nash and Dwight Howard, while holding on to Pau Gasol and, amazingly, lowering their salary cap number.  Is there anyone they can't get?

Worst Off Season, Team:

The Brooklyn Nyets just traded for the league's current Albatross contract then overpaid for an overrated point guard who promptly got hurt. Their reward?  They are now the Atlanta Hawks: a team with a glass ceiling of 40-45 wins, second-round flameouts and a perpetually maxed-out cap.  Hey, at least they have a shiny new building. 

 

Best Off Season, Fans:

They don't know it now but the Atlanta Hawks got rid of almost all of their bad contracts and are poised to rebuild the right way.  Now, can they overcome the fact that Atlanta is a horrible sports town and still get guys to sign there in the coming years?

Worst Off Season, Fans:

The Oklahoma City Thunder just traded away the reigning Sixth Man of the year.  Five days before the season started.  And got nothing that will help them today.  Life in a small market.  Or karma for stealing another city's team.

Best Off Season Trade:

When you obtain the best center in the game and don't give up either of your two best players, how can anyone else win this award?  Los Angeles Lakers acquisition of Dwight Howard.

Worst Off Season Trade:

The Orlando Magic being involved in a four-team trade in which they were the only team that failed to get better.  The Lakers got Dwight Howard; the Sixers got Andrew Bynum, the Nuggets got Andrae Iguodala and the Magic got...Aaron Aflalo?  No -- they got raped.  And it was a legitimate rape.

Sam Cassell Award for he who will bitch the loudest this season about the contract he voluntarily signed:

We gotta go Dwight Howard here, right?  I mean c'mon -- this has to happen.  Right?

Shawn Bradley Award for most undeserved contract given to a free agent:

The New York Knicks signed a 39 year-old point guard with a history of beating woman to a three-year contract and Jason Kidd promptly got his third DUI.  Good luck with that.

Tyronn Lue Award for he who will turn three good playoff games into a ridiculous long-term contract:
 

They weren't playoff games but Jeremy Lin has turned a spectacular-- but terribly short -- run into a ridiculous contract with the then-desperate Houston Rockets.  Spare us the, "best 26-game span in league history since J. Christ's rookie campaign with the Jerusalem Wanderers in the 27-28 season", crap.  The league had no film on him because he was a scrub.  As soon as the tape caught up with him, his numbers tanked.  They will continue to do so.  In two years, Jeremy Lin will be Ickey Woods.

Penny Hardaway Award for most overrated player in the NBA:

JaVale McGee, Denver Nuggets.  When did this guy become so allegedly talented?  The media have this guy as the next Dwight Howard, minus the menstrual drama.  We don't see it.

Fashion Award:

While the Spurs have some new alternate unis we're quite fond of and the Nyets have a whole new look that we don't dislike, the award has got to go to the Nuggets for this new alternate uniform, despite the Marquette shorts.  Beautiful! 

All-Jobless Team, as of 30 October:

PG –  Derek FisherSG – Leandro "Babydaddy" Barbosa
SF – Josh Howard
PF – Kenyon Martin
C – Dan Gadzuric (hey, it was either him or Mehmet Okur)
Sixth Man: Michael Redd
Coach: Jeff Van Gundy

Rookie of the Year:

Anthony Davis, New Orleans Hornets.  Anyone picking someone besides him is just wanting attention.

Don't be shocked if it's: Damian Lillard, Portland Trail Blazers.


And the Number One pick in the 2013 NBA Draft belongs to:
 

Orlando Magic.

And finally, our annual Useless Playoff Predictions:
EAST:

Division Champions: Boston Celtics, Indiana Pacers, Miami Heat

Should get in:  Philadelphia 76'ers, Chicago Bulls

The Scrum: Milwaukee Bucks, Brooklyn Nyets, New York Knicks, Toronto Raptors, Atlanta Hawks

Give the Slots to: New York, Toronto and Atlanta

Round One:
(1) Miami over (8) Atlanta
(2) Indiana over (7) Toronto
(3) Boston over (6) New York
(4) Philadelphia over (5) Chicago

Conference Semifinals: 
Miami over Philadelphia
Boston over Indiana

Conference Finals:
Miami Heat over Boston Celtics 
WEST:

Division Champions: Oklahoma City Thunder, Los Angeles Lakers, Memphis Grizzlies 
Should get in: Denver Nuggets, San Antonio Spurs, Los Angeles Clippers
The Scrum: Utah Jazz, Dallas Mavericks, Minnesota Timberwolves, Golden State Warriors, Portland Trail BlazersGive the slots to: Dallas, Utah.

Round One:
(1) Oklahoma City over (8)Utah
(2) Los Angeles Lakers over (7) Dallas 
(3) Memphis over (6) San Antonio
(4) Los Angeles Clippers over (5) Denver Nuggets

Conference Semifinals: 
Oklahoma City over LA Clippers  
LA Lakers over Memphis

Conference Finals:
Los Angeles Lakers over Oklahoma City Thunder

Your 2012-2013 NBA Champions:
 

Los Angeles Lakers, over Miami, in 5.

30 teams...82 games...236,160 minutes of pure roundball bliss!

Life is good.