Focused on the NBA: 2k9-10 Preview

Before we dive into the roundball, we want to share an article that tries to solve one of life's most elusive mysteries: why would anyone be a Cleveland Browns fan?  The piece, by espn.com Page 2's Geoff LaTulippe, can be found here.

Now to basketball!

The NBA is in danger of turning into Major League Baseball.  And that is not a good thing.  Just as, every August, Pirate, Padre and Expo nee Nationals loyalists see their hopes traded away to the Big Money teams in New York and L.A., a disturbing trend took place this Association off season.  The rich got richer, as is wont to happen, but this time around, it was the poorest of the poor who facilitated much of the movement.

The Nets traded away Vince Carter and got Rafer Alston and spares.  The Bucks shipped Richard Jefferson in exchange for three guys they immediately cut.  We don't know what the hell the plan in in Minnesota, but it appears to involve shedding any player who is to be paid an actual salary.  These moves, and countless other like them, will make for a great playoff chase and even better post season series but are bad for the long-term health of the game. It remains to be seen if the moves of this summer past are all about the general economy and/or positioning for the Free Agent Class of 2010. or if they are a harbinger of the future of the NBA.  We hope it is the former.

Now on the the preseason awards and useless predictions:

First Coach to be Fired:

Scott Brooks, Oklahoma City Thunder.  Unrealistic expectations, paired with a mediocre team and a lack of other coaches on the hot seat make Scotty our pick.

Don't be shocked if it's: Don Nelson, Golden State Warriors.  Just a hunch.

Breakout Season Coming From:

Greg Oden, Portland Trail Blazers.  Dude is itching to play after a wasted rookie campaign.  With a year-older crew around him and hopes for a long playoff run ahead, look for the old man to be a monster this year.

Don't be shocked if it's: Aaron Brooks, Houston Rockets

We Give Up On:

Rafer Alston, New Jersey Nets.  A really good streetballer.  That's all he will ever be.

We Still Say He's a Star In-the-Making:

Andrea Bargnani, Toronto Raptors.  But if we don't see a breakout this season, we're done with him too.

Best Off Season, Team:

Orlando Magic.  The defending Conference Champions traded Corky Turkoglu high, picked up Brandon Bass and Matt Barnes, then suckered the Mavs into sending to them via trade, the cash needed to match Dallas' offer sheet to Marcin Gortat.  We're not sold on Vince the Malingerer being the key to a title, but this summer was a classic example of a team reloading on the fly.  Also considered: The Los Angeles Lakers picking up Ron-Ron; The Boston Celtics bulking up with 'Sheed, Marquis Daniels.

Worst Off Season, Team:

We want to give this to the Minnesota Timberwolves, but we can't.  Sure they drafted three point guards in the first round -- and then watched the best of the trio refuse to sign; sure they made moves out of financial desperation rather than competitive desire; sure, their team is going to be horrendous this season.  Still, they made a great hire in Kurt Rambis at head coach and finally jettisoned Lerch McHale.

That leaves the Milwaukee Bucks as the team with the worst off season.  They traded Richard Jefferson for, when subsequent deals were done, Carlos Delfino, then let Ramon Sessions and Charlie Villanueva walk.  They got one spare part, in exchange for their second thru fourth-leading scorers from last season. This team will struggle to merely compete.  And they have the ugliest uniforms in professional sports.  Also considered: Houston Rockets' injury parade; Golden State Warriors' Captain Jack flare up.

Best Off Season, Fans:

The Dallas Mavericks turned Jerry Stackhouse, Deaven George and Greg Buckner into Shawn Marion, Drew Gooden and Tim Thomas.  They also have Erik Dampier's expiring contract to trade at the deadline, in exchange for another top-tier free agent.  Things have not looked this good in Big D since the start of the 2006-07 season.

Worst Off Season, Fans:

Sacramento Kings.  The worst defensive team in the NBA last season hired Paul Westphal as their head coach.  Not only is Whestphal the epitome of the offensive-minded coach, he had also been out of the league for eight years.  Oh yeah, the team is leaving Sacramento, too.  You are a Kings fan -- fyl.

Best Off Season Trade:

San Antonio Spurs aquiring Richard Jefferson for Bruce Bowen, Fabricio Oberto and Kurt Thomas.  We're not convinced Jefferson is as good as advertised, but picking up a guy of his skill, in exchange for three guys that had no future in the Alamo City is just another example of how well-run an organization the Spurs are.

Worst Off Season Trade:

Golden State Warriors sending  Marco Belinelli to Toronto (where he will thrive), for a broken down Devean George, who was horrid in his two seasons in Dallas.

Sam Cassell Award for he who will bitch the loudest this season about the contract he voluntarily signed:

Stephen Jackson, Golden State Warriors.  Dude signed an extension in July, got suspended in September and was stripped of his captaincy this month.  Look for him to be shipped out sooner than later.  Look for him to be an absolute cancer until then.

Shawn Bradley Award for most undeserved contract given to a free agent: 

Theo Ratliff, San Antonio Spurs. Also considered: Juwan Howard, Portland Trail Blazers.

Tyronn Lue Award for he who will turn three good playoff games into a ridiculous long-term contract:

Tyron Lue, Boston Celics.  Lue has been named Director of Basketball Develpoment for the C-Men.

Penny Hardaway Award for most overrated player in the NBA: 

Michael Redd, Milwaukee Bucks.  We just don't get the fascination with this one-dimensional player, on a bad team.

Fashion Award:  

The Mavs, Cavs and Blazers have some great new alternate unis and the Bobcats have quite possibly the worst of all-time, but the hands-down winner ofr this year's award has to be the Philadelphia 76'ers, who, in a nod to history, went from this to this.  Classic lines, clear fonts -- a great look.  

All-Jobless Team, as of 25 October:

PG – Stephon Marbury
SG – Jerry Stackhouse
SF – Bruce Bowen
PF – Malik Rose
C – Lorenzen Wright
Sixth Man: Darius Miles
Coach: Avery Johnson

Rookie of the Year:

Blake Griffin, Los Angeles Clippers.  If we picked anyone else, it would be a purely contrarian move.  And we'd never do that.

And the Number One pick in the 2008 NBA Draft belongs to: 

Las Vegas...err Sacramento Kings.

Where They Will Be, One Year From Now:

Le Bron James -- Cleveland

Dwayne Wade -- Dallas (or somewhere else that is not Miami)

Chris Bosh -- Toronto

Where they stand at the start of the season, our initial Power Rankings:

30.  Sacramento Kings - Just nothing to hope for this season.

29.  Milwaukee Bucks - Picking up Hakeem Warrick may be only good off season move.

28.  Moscow Nyets - The fire sale continues.  Will the move to Brooklyn ever happen? 

27.  Memphis Grizlies - AI will score 50 per game.  And Memphis will lose 80% of them.

26.  New York Knicks - When the season ends, and LBJ is not in NYC, the real rebuilding can begin. 

25.  Minnesota Timberwolves - Bad teams win a lot early and late in the season.  Minny is raw, but talented.

24.  Golden State Warriors - You thought the flame-out of Run TMC was ugly?  Just wait.

23.  Indiana Pacers - Traded crap for crap with the W's.  Neither got appreciable better.

22.  Houston Rockets - Time to pull the plug on the Sleepy McGrady/Yao era and rebuild. 

21.  Oklahoma City Thunder - Playoff talk is nonsense.

20.  Washington Wizards - The perpetually overrated Wiz have an appropriately overrated coach, in Flip.

19.  Chicago Bulls - Another team banking on the Summer of 2010.  Foolishly.

18.  Miami Heat - Better hope D-Wade is not basing his decision on the outcome of this season.

17.  Charlotte Bobcats - Can Tyson Chandler and LB get them to their first post season berth?

16.  Philadelphia 76'ers - It's all about Elton.

15.  Phoenix Suns - Nash and Amare get you to the playoffs at least, right?

14.  Detroit Pistons - Their rebuild on the fly will keep them at least mediocre.

13.  Los Angeles Clippers - Griffin and Butler are nice upgrades.  But they are the Clippers.

12.  New Orleans Hornets - This may be the last time for a while they enter a season this high.

11.  Utah Jazz - If the Boozer situation explodes, they will tumble, Jerry Sloan greatness notwithstanding.

10.  Toronto Raptors - There's an interesting mix North of the border.  This team will be fun to watch.  

  9.  San Antonio Spurs - Not sold on Jefferson as the answer.  Can they stay healthy?

  8.  Denver Nuggets - We're still not convinced last year was real.  Can they repeat the performance?

  7.  Atlanta Hawks - Can Coach Woodson finally reach Jamal Crawford?  

  6.  Portland Trail Blazers - Still a year away from being scary-good.

  5.  Dallas Mavericks - Solid team can be legitimate contender with the right trade for the Damp contract.

  4.  Cleveland Cavaliers - Shaq + 'Bron could = ring, if Delonte West stays on his meds.

  3.  Boston Celtics - It all comes down to KG's knees.

  2.  Orlando Magic - Surprise winners of the East got even better.

  1.  Los Angeles Lakers - Ron Artest was the perfect addition to this team.

And finally, our annual Useless Playoff Predictions:

EAST: 

Division Champions:  Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Orlando Magic
Should get in:  Atlanta Hawks, Toronto Raptors

The Scrum: Philadelphia 76'ers, Miami Heat, Chicago Bulls, Detroit Pistons, Washington Wizards

Give the Slots to: Philly, Miami and Washington

Round One: 
(1) Orlando over (8) Washington 
(2) Cleveland over (7) Miami 
(3) Boston over (6) Toronto 
(4) Atlanta over (5) Chicago 

Conference Semifinals: 
Orlando over Atlanta 
Boston over Cleveland 

Conference Finals: 
Boston Celtics over Orlando Magic 

WEST:

Division Champions: Denver Nuggets, Los Angeles Lakers, Dallas Mavericks 
Should get in: Portland Trail Blazers, Utah Jazz, San Antonio Spurs, New Orleans Hornets
The scrum: Los Angeles Clippers, Phoenix Suns
Give the slot to: Los Angeles Clippers. 

Round One: 
(1) Los Angeles Lakers over (8) Los Angeles Clippers 
(7) Utah over (2) Denver  
(3) Dallas over (6) New Orleans
(4) Portland over (5) San Antonio

Conference Semifinals: 
LA Lakers over Portland 
Dallas over Utah 

Conference Finals: 
Los Angeles Lakers over Dallas Mavericks 

Your 2009-2010 NBA Champions: 

Los Angeles Lakers, over Boston, in 7. 

30 teams...82 games...236,160 minutes of pure roundball bliss!

Life is good.

PS: The results of last week's poll, asking for World Series Predictions:

Phillies vs Angels - 50%

Phillies vs Yankees/Dodgers vs Angels - 25% each.

This week's poll is at the bottom of this post.

Focused on Ron LeFLore

We're off!

Item:

Time magazine has done something very interesting.  They have bought a house in Detroit.  Intentionally.

They have moved some writers in and will have others reside temporarily, to chronicle the death and hoped-for resurrection of a city.  We knew things were bad in Motown.  But damn.

Just a few figures:

--Detroit was once the 4th-largest city in the nation.  It is now 11th
--70% of the homicides in Detroit in the last 12 months remain unsolved
--In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, unemployment in New Orleans topped out at 11%
    -Detroit's unemployment rate today is am incomprehensible 28.9%
--51% of the houses in Detroit are vacant
--There are 0 national chain grocery stores within the 138 square-mile city limits.  Zero!

If figures don't convey the state of things adequately, here is a photographic essay of the city.  Here is the cover story from this week's issue. (it is very long)

We find it both alarming that this can happen to a United States city and a relief that it is not the one we live in.    As Time continues its journey, we'll pass along things we find interesting.  We've added a link to Time's Detroit Blog in the side panel.  If you tweet, you can follow the project by clicking on the cover story then the link to Twitter.

~~~
Item:

Here's some food for thought.

Bruce Hornsby was onto something.  Some things indeed will never change.

Lest we be deluded into thinking that the Jena 6 saga would actually change anything in Louisiana, we present for your perusal one Keith Bardwell, Justice of the Peace for Tangipahoa Parish.  Bardwell refused to issue a marriage license to Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay.  Because they were related?  No.  Because one of them was underage?  Nope.  Because one of them was legally barred from marrying?  Uh-uh.  No, he refused to issue the license because Humphrey is white and McKay is black.

But it's not racism.  "“I do ceremonies for negr...color....um...black couples right here in my house. My main concern is for the children,”   Riiiight.  (ok, we added the negr...color...um... part)

Guess that's just the way it is.

~~~

Fare thee well, Captain Lou, we'll see you on the Other Side. Save us a rubber band, a good seat by the ring and some of those gold coins that Mario goes for.

~~~
Item:

All we're saying is that the Balloon Boy of Colorado had to be put up to it by the parents.  Think about this -- your kid releases a balloon into the sky, gets scared he will get into trouble and hides in the attic.  You can't find him. The cops get called.  An ass-load of cops, helicopters, rescue workers and half the FAA start tracking the balloon, thinking the kid's in it.  The story goes viral and about half the office workers -- and all of the cable news network viewers -- are riveted for like an hour.  Balloon crashes, everyone freaks out.  Turns out junior is safe in the attic, and all is well.

After you hug the life out of the kid, what would you do?  You'd beat his ass.  Then be mortified at the trouble your kid caused.  This is assuming you are not an attention whore.  The parents of this kid were.  And our money is on them having planned it.

And just an idea to the parents of young Falcon (yes, that was really his name).  Name the next kid Goldfish.  He'll be easier to keep track of.

~~~
Quote of the Week:

“Qui cantat, bis orat” or, "He who sings prays twice".

--Augustine of Hippo, c.430

~~~
Internet Video of the Week:

Here.

~~~
Ridiculous Story That Actually Appeared in a Publication of the Week:

Here.

Bitch, please!

~~~
Idiot of the Week:

Rick Perry, Governor of Texas.

We brought you the story of Todd Willingham last week.  Governor Goodhair broke his silence on the case on Wednesday, offering the profound nugget that he is "convinced by other factors in the case beyond the science that (Willingham) is a murderer."  Because surely we don't want arson investigations being thrown off track by something as silly as this "science" nonsense.

Perhaps we should depend on the work of mystics and psychics.  Like at trial.

~~~

Vintage Album Review of the Week:
As reviewed by Guest Blogger John Waldowski

Yeah, Waldo flaked on us, so we have to sub in something we can review on the fly.  Here goes:

Billy Joel
The Bridge
1986

-Running on Ice (3:15)
-This is the Time (4:59)*
-A Matter of Trust (4:09)*
-Modern Woman (3:48)*
-Baby Grand (4:02)*
-Big Man on Mulberry St. (5:26)
-Temptation (4:12)
-Code of Silence (5:15)
-Getting Closer (5:00)
* - singles

We really got into music relatively late, at around 12 or 13 years old.  So The Bridge was the first "new" Billy Joel album we ever bought.  Actually bought is not the right term. It was August of 1986 and we were on the Wildwood boardwalk.  We passed some type of game of chance and saw the prizes were albums.  Sure as hell, there was a pirate copy of the two-weeks-from-release new Billy Joel album.  We proceeded to blow about twenty bucks in increments of a quarter handed to the guy working the game until dude finally took pity on us and just gave us the damned thing.  We raced to the hotel room and realized -- we don't have a damned turntable!

We finally did listen to it and by way of review, we will chronicle our reaction.

Needle hits vinyl.  A few seconds later -- BAM! a frenetic burst of keyboards then...Sting starts singing?  What the hell?  No, it's Billy.  But he kind of sounds like Sting.  All in all we really liked Running on Ice.  It should have been a single...Song fades then This is the Time starts.  Kind of reminded us of the Jeff Beck/Rod Stewart collaboration on People Get Ready.  But we liked the seaside setting in the lyrics and the LP was off to a good start...1-2-ah 1234. WOW.  Wow oh wow oh fuckingaye wow!  We knew the first single from the album was called A Matter of Trust.  But wow!  It was amazing.  We loved it.  Billy on guitar! (ok so it was rhythm not lead, but still!)  It instantly became our favorite Billy Joel song...Then came Modern Woman, which had been released on the Ruthless People soundtrack and had peaked on the Billboard chart at number 9. We dug it and were thinking this was the greatest album in the history of ever.  An Innocent Who?...Then the opening notes of Baby Grand trickled through the speakers.  OK, we got it -- Ray Charles was a legend.  And he was like 473 years old, and blind.  But we initially hated the song.  Billy sang. "they say that no one's gonna play this on the radio" and we thought, "damned straight! (of course this didn't stop us from dragging our buddy Billyrob to see Charles that winter at the South Carolina State Fair, in the hopes of hearing Baby Grand -- he didn't play it but his set was amazing and we instantly became fans).  All in all we were pretty pleased with the first side of the album.  Then we turned it over...Four songs?  What the hell is this?  You've had three years and we get four freaking songs?  And not like three songs and one that's like 20 minutes long.  No -- four songs.  Oh well, they gotta be as good as the first side, right?...The horns of Big Man on Mulberry Street fired off and we were just frozen.  This had to be some type of pressing mistake at the album factory.  That's why it was on the damned boardwalk early!  Then the singing started.  It was like Billy Joel bouncing back from laryngitis. Poorly.  It sucked!...Then a ballad.  Temptation was a nice, melodic piano-based love song.  "OK", we thought, "now we're back on track.  And the next song was a duet with Cyndi Lauper.  This had to be good...Yeah, about that.  Not so much.  Code of Silence was a mangled mass of harmonica, acoustic guitar and Lauperesque yelping.  No likey...Last chance Billy.  And Getting Closer failed to save the day...We were crushed.  It started out so great, then just crashed and burned.  But that first side!  

The Bridge was the last full-length album Billy Joel and his longtime producer Phil Ramone would work on together.  Listening to it now it is east to tell why.  the production is awful.  The "really cool" echo on Billy's voice on Trust was unintentional.  You can actually hear him call out chords during Code and the seams are clearly audible throughout.  Ramone allowed Billy oversing Temptation badly and, having heard the alternate, unused version of Closer as part of Billy's 2006 My Lives box set release, clearly cose the wrong one to put on the album, wasting the best of Steve Winwood's Hammond organ work.

This was a very uneven album and the material really doesn't sound like it all belongs on the same set.  Trust and Grand have held up well and, surprisingly, Big Man is now one of our favorite songs.  Running should have been a single and, had it been produced right, Temptation would have probably been the better ballad single.  Modern has aged badly but the rest of it really hasn't.  It just wasn't done that well to start with.

Music:  3 (of 5)
Lyrics:  3 (of 5)
Authorship:  3 (of 4)
Production: 0 (of 3)
Packaging: 2 (of 2)
First Blush: 1 (of 2)
Aging: 1 (of 3)
Videos: 1 (of 1) No video for Modern or Time, but we love the chick that showed up with a rat for Trust (at 2:44 in the clip linked above) -- and the fact that Billy is playing a Gibson signed by Les Paul. We figure that's enough to salvage the point.
Total: 14
Stars: 2.8 (of 5)

~~~
Parting shots:

It's League Championship series time in Major League Baseball and we're making the call for a Freeway Series: Phillies in 7, Yankees in 6.  (I-95 goes right from Philly to NYC).  What do you think?  Click on the poll below and we'll publish results next week...Last week the readers got it right by picking the Phillies, Yankees and Dodgers to win their series, while the poll was split on the BoSox/Halos series...Big props to an unnamed blogger, for balling up for bikers, here...Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Cribbs wants a new contract.  Seems his current deal only runs through 2012.  And pays him a meager $1.35 Million per year.  For a team that has one win.  For whom he is not the leading receiver.  When asked about the situation, Cribbs replied, "I'm gonna be stuck." If by stuck you mean forced to earn $25,961.54 a week for essentially doing nothing, then we suggest you ask a UAW "worker" how he copes with, essentially, the same situation.  Cribbs went on to lament, "I don't know what I am going to do."  How about shutting the hell up and playing?  In the last year of Michael Jordan's rookie contract, he was the 27th-highest-paid player in the NBA.  But he never complained.  How did that work out?

And with that, we bid you adieu.

Until next time,

Keep the Faith

Focused on Sharon Tate

We're off!

Item:

Roman Polanski is a rapist.  We don't care if he is a great director.  We don't care if he's a really nice guy.  We don't care if he's lived in out-in-the-open-life-of-a-millionaire "hiding" for decades.  Dude drugged and raped a 13 year old girl. 

We don't care if she looked older.  We don't care if she acted older.  We don't care if she says the media has been worse to her than Polanski was. 

While we do care that Polanski was in Poland when the Nazis rolled through, ending up in the Krakow Ghetto, it has no bearing on the fact that he confessed to giving alcohol and drugs to a child and sodomizing her.  He was convicted in a court of law -- he did it.  And he needs to go to prison. 

We understand plea bargains and how they can get someone to take a guilty verdict to get a lighter sentence, but there is no way in hell someone confesses to raping a little girl unless he did it.  But even that is immaterial.  The conviction is the only thing that matters.  As far as the court is concerned, he is guilty.  That's all there is to it. 

He also needs to get the extra seven years the rest of us would get for skipping bail. 

And he needs to be in GenPop.

~~~
Reason 847,612 we hate Texas:

On 23 December 1991, a house in Corsicana, Texas burned down.  Three children died in the fire.  Their father, Todd Willingham,  was charged with murder and arson in connection.  He was offered a life sentence in exchange for a confession and declined.  He went to trial, was convicted and sentenced to death.  After Willingham exhausted all of his appeals, the execution was carried out on 17 February 2004.

Since the execution, nine different fire investigators, in three separate reports, have reviewed the Willingham fire -- one of these was commissioned by the State to do so.  Each found that there was no evidence of arson.  In fact, Dr. Craig Beyler, hired by the Texas Forensic Science Commission to review the case, wrote in his report that, "a finding of arson could not be sustained". He went on to say the evidence at trial was, "hardly consistent with a scientific mind-set and is more characteristic of mystics or psychics".

Clearly an innocent man was murdered by the State of Texas.  Clearly, despite all the appeals Willingham had at his disposal, the system failed to get it right.  How then, can anyone justify the practice of capital punishment?

One would think the State would want to do anything it can to prevent this from ever happening again.  In that vein, the Texas Forensic Science Commission was scheduled to meet on 2 October 2009 to discuss the Beyer Report, in preparation for presentation to the Governor. 

On 30 September -- two days before the scheduled meeting -- Governor Rick Perry replaced the chair and two of the other seven members of the commission.  The new chair, John Bradley, promptly cancelled the meeting.  When asked why, he responded that he needed, "to get up to speed on what the Forensic Science Commission does", before proceeding.  When asked when the commission would be meeting next, Bradley responded, "oh, I couldn't even begin to guess when."

So the Governor of Texas replaced damned-near half of a commission, on the eve of a critical meeting, putting a man in charge who doesn't even know what the commission does and has no idea when they will reconvene.  Lovely.

Did we mention that Perry faces a primary challenge in March?  We're sure it's totally unrelated to his not wanting a commission to find a man was executed in error, almost assuredly leading to a moratorium on the practice.

~~~
Fare thee well, Susan Atkins, enjoy Hell.  You died exactly where you should have.

~~~
Quote of the Week:

“Problems that go away on their own come back on their own."
--Chuck Sullivan, 2009

~~~
Internet Video of the Week:

~~~
Ridiculous Story That Actually Appeared in a Publication of the Week:

Here.

Wow.  He wins custody, she kidnaps the kids and he ends up in jail. 

And we thought the US courts were screwed.

~~~
Idiot of the Week:

Whoopi Goldberg. 

According to Goldberg, what Roman Polanski did was not rape.  Getting a 13 year old girl drunk, slipping her some ludes, some lube and some dude is apparently ok in the world 'o Whoopi. 

When discussing the Polanski case on The View, she displayed her heretofore unknown legal prowess, by stating, "I know it wasn't rape-rape. It was something else but I don't believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and when they let him out he was like, 'You know what, this guy's going to give me a hundred years in jail. I'm not staying.' So that's why he left."

Hmm.  First, Whoopi, he was not in jail.  He was in a psychiatric facility for evaluation.  Second, there is no crime called "rape-rape".  It's pretty much rape or not rape.  Third, that "guy" was the judge in the case.  And yes, just-plain-rapists go to jail.  Just like rapist-rapists.

And in an apparent attempt to leave absolutely no doubt that she is an idiot, she went on to say, "would I want my 14-year-old having sex with somebody? Not necessarily, no."

Not necessarily?!?!?!? 

~~~

Vintage Album Review of the Week:

Peter Cetera

Solitude/Solitaire

1986

-Big Mistake (5:39)*

-They Don't Make em Like They Used To (4:04)

-Glory of Love (4:20)*
-Queen of the Masquerade Ball (3:50)
-Daddy's Girl (3:46)
-The Next Time I Fall (3:43)*
-Wake Up to Love (4:29)
-Solitude/Solitaire (4:58)
-Only Love Knows Why (4:29)*
* - singles

Now, we told you some of these albums would be embarrassing.  This would be an example of that.  But in our defense, Chicago 17 was the definitive album of our time and Karate Kid the epitome of great cinema. 

Right?

Ok, ok.  We had shit taste in music.  Happy? 

Still, we owned it and actually paid iTunes to reacquire it, so we need to review it.

When this album came out, we loved it.  It had all the cool new gadgetry of the late 80's -- synthesized drums, synthesized horns, strange sounds of unknown origin -- hell we're not sure a single acoustic instrument was actually used in its creation.  What sounded fresh and new in 1986 though, sounds really dated in 2009.

The formula is pretty simple: take Chicago, get rid of the horns, lean a little more toward Stay the Night than Hard Habit to Break, keep Cetera and add a touch of the horns back in -- but synthesized.  Overproduce the hell out of it and you get Solitude/Solitaire.

Cetera's voice alone gets the album a couple of points.  It's distinctive, if a tad limited in range but we like it.  The lyrics are solid, if not stunning.  The production, while it ruins some songs that might have been pretty good, stole right from the David Foster playbook when it came to the two biggest hits, Glory of Love, which rocketed up the charts once Karate Kid went the 1980's version of viral and The Next Time I Fall, featuring Amy Grant, who took a break from Christian music to make the record (which is probably a good idea, since she would soon be banging a man who was not her husband -- and no longer is).  The two songs, along with Only Love Knows Why all sound like they were probably originally written for Chicago 18, before Cetera bolted.  And honestly, they're really the only three songs that hold up.  Be it because of quality or familiarity, we're not quite sure.  But since these songs are all available on a Greatest Hits album, there is no real reason to buy this one.

Music: 2 (of 5)
Lyrics: 2 (of 5)
Authorship: 2 (of 4)
Production: 1 (of 3)
Packaging: 1 (of 2)
First Blush: 2 (of 2)
Aging: 1 (of 3)
Videos: 1 (of 1)
Total: 12
Stars: 2.4 (of 5)

~~~
Parting shots:  Real AP headline this week: "Saturn Dealers, Owners Shocked Over End of Brand". Umm, how?...The results of last weeks' poll: 66% want minimal givernment intervention in healthcare, 33% want none.  This week's poll is at the bottom of the page...Congratulations to the 2009 National League Eastern Division Champion Philadelphia Phillies.  Let the Playoff Beard flow...Speaking of the MLB playoff scene, we pick PHI over COL, StL over LAD, NYY over MIN and BOS over LAA.

And with that, we bid you adieu.

Until next time,

Keep the Faith

Focused on the Family, Vol. 1

So today is the day. Yeah, that day. The Tragic Trifecta. A dead dad, a fiancée taken away far too young and a major breakup, all sharing 25 September. It's a day that makes me think. And, this year, a day that makes me thank.

I have a story to share about my father, Joseph Bates. But first, I want to talk a bit about the other two things that make this day more than the average day. And how perspective has made them not all that traumatic after all.

My life has been broken into three distinct periods: the Philadelphia, South Carolina and Texas years, with a lovely side-trip to Southern California mixed in for good measure.

The transition from the Palmetto State to the Lone Star State was the result of the first woman I truly loved. The first, and to this date only, woman I ever proposed to. Her birthday was 25 September and I interpreted that as the penultimate "sign from God" -- He took away my dad on that date so He gave me something else back tied to that date. The plan went awry and wedded bliss was not meant to be. While we had parted ways long before her passing, the news that she had died of cancer hit me hard some ten years later, when I heard it.

But I look back on her now with fondness. For she taught me how to love, how to hurt. Until her I never knew love could be so painful. But I say that in a good way. Because the upside of that feeling is amazing -- and can never truly be appreciated until one has felt the polar opposite. And while ultimately we were destined live separate lives, I learned a lot from Regina Sifuentes. And it makes me smile to think that she has been relieved of her suffering and is living a life of eternal peace in heaven.

A few years after I found out about Regina's death, on yet another 25th of September, I broke up with a girlfriend I had been with for some time. When it happened, and for several years after, I was destroyed. These days I can't really say I am. I am in a happy, healthy relationship with a good woman.  There's a legitimate chance for a future together. I am happy. It's very easy to see now just how bad E and I were for each other. While I have not seen or heard from her for about ten years now, the last I heard she was married and also happy. I see that as a win-win.

Then there's Joe -- my dad.

I've shared in the link above (here it is again) the story of the day my dad died. I've shared some of my thoughts and memories of his life. One of those things is how he related to the kids of the neighborhood, particularly the older ones -- ones older than my brother, sister and me. The neighborhood, (hell society as a whole), was in flux. This was the mid-to-late 1970's when, in our working-class, Irish/German very Catholic neighborhood, a dad might drink excess, he may smack mom around a bit (my dad did neither), but he also, by and large, did two things: he went to work every day and he eventually came back home. Divorce just wasn't a part of life where I grew up.

But that was changing. So the first generation of these lost youths started to get into trouble. And eventually, inexplicably, ended up on the porch, watching a Phillies game with my dad. It wasn't every night. It wasn't even often enough to be called anything like frequent. But every once in a while I'd catch a snippet of conversation as I dragged my bike up the steps or out the door. "You need to give your mom a break. She's dealing with a lot..." "That's not the way you handle things..." "Gary, get me a beer."

I thought maybe my memory of this was a bit of revisionist history. That perhaps I had remembered one or two chance occurrences and somehow let it evolve into some sort of a part of my dad's presence that was never really there. Those doubts have been eliminated by a conversation I had just this week with someone I don't remember even knowing. His story amazed me. And made me realize just how great the man I am fortunate enough to call my dad really was.

I'm going to change some of the events and all of the names here, because of the nature of the story. But the essence is all accurate.

Facebook is an amazing tool. Over the last year, the seams between three phases of my life have been erased in a way I never thought possible. Where I always saw Philadelphia as the place I was born and grew up -- the place I had a dad, South Carolina as the place I finished high school and spiraled out of control after his death and Texas as where I have spent my adulthood, leaving each of the three phases completely behind, Facebook has brought it all together. I can talk to someone I graduated from high school with one minute, and the girl I kissed in an Alley off of Ashdale Street in Philly the next. As a result, I am more in touch with who I am and where I come from than I have ever been.

Earlier this week, "Walter" sent me a message on FB. He remembered me from when I was a little kid and remembered my dad. He is just one of several guys who have e-mailed me, specifically mentioning my father. But Walter was different. He told me about a night in the summer of 1978 that changed his life forever.

He was walking up Lawrence, toward Rockland when my father called out to him, "Hey Walter, c'mere." Now whether the game was between innings or Joe saw something in the kid's eyes or it was just fate, we'll never know. But whatever the reason, my dad stopped Walter, who made a weak attempt at moving along, then capitulated and took a seat on the top step, leaning against the column that divided the Quaid's side of the steps from ours.

Walter doesn’t remember how long he sat there or even what he talked about with my dad. He just remembers getting up to walk away and Joe saying, "Walter. You're a good kid." Walter went home that night to an empty house. His dad had taken off the previous fall; his mother was at work. He watched some television, sneaked a few beers and probably a j. He went to sleep. Just another night in the life of a teenager. Nothing miraculous happened, nothing really of note.

Walter ended up graduating from Olney High by the skin of his teeth. He bounced around Ju-Co and shit jobs for a while, met a girl, got her in trouble and straightened out. He went to school and became an Emergency Medical Technician. He has three kids now and has been married for over twenty years. He has a good life.

On that summer night in 1978, he had planned on ending that life. He was young, stupid, messed up and confused. He couldn’t see a way out and was going to take his own life. Then a man took a few minutes to talk to him. To listen to him. To tell him he was a good kid. And that was enough to keep him going another day.

My dad was that man and because of him, Walter kept the faith. There were other mentors along Walter's path, other people and things that kept him moving forward. The birth of his first child, more than anything, focused him on the Big Picture and got him on track. So Joe's impact cannot be made to be the only reason he is alive to this day. But it's one.

As an EMT, Walter has undoubtedly saved lives. He is a good man who tries to leave the world a better place than he finds it. Like anyone else, sometimes he succeeds, sometimes he fails. But he continues to fight the good fight.

Walter never had the chance to thank my father for what he did that night, so many years ago. Joe had moved to South Carolina in August of 1984 and died of cancer thirteen months later. Other than his wife, Walter had never told anyone the story about that night in 1978. Until he happened across me on Facebook. When he told me the story, he thought he was thanking me by proxy for the actions of a man I can only hope to measure up to one day. But in reality it is me who is thankful.

For while every kid thinks his dad is a great man, Walter allows me to know that mine really was.

And I look forward to telling him that, when we are reunited on the Other Side.

Focused on Sean "Puffy" Combs

We're off!

Item:

(For the first time ever, we don't)...want to be like Mike.  What should have been the crowning moment of the greatest career in basketball history devolved into a spiteful, bitter diatribe by a guy who just can't let go. 

Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction speech was a train wreck.  Calling out your high school coach for cutting you?  AND the dude he picked over you?  Really? 

Many have given MJ a pass on this, chalking the whole thing up to "legendary competitiveness".  We disagree.  As a player, Jordan had no peer when it came to desire to win.  As we have said in the past iteration of this blog, "It could be a Tuesday night in January -- in Vancouver.  Mike still wants to drop a double nickel on you".  But that competitiveness has not followed him into the front office in either Washington or Charlotte.  And it stands to reason that success has equally eluded His Airness.

We always admired Michal for never holding out, never bitching about money and never giving a halfhearted effort.  For respecting the game.  But now it's time for him to respect himself.  His speech at the induction ceremony was an embarrassment.

Let it go Mike.  You won.
~~~
Item:

Here's some food for thought.  It's a New York Times Op-Ed column by David Brooks and speaks of the culture of self-aggrandizement we live in.

Click here.

~~~
Fare thee well, Patrick, we'll see you on the Other Side. Save us a dance at Kellerman's, a stool at the Road House and a pottery wheel.

Patrick Swayze fought the good fight and we admire his working right up until the end.  The tabloids had a field day with his illness, posting weekly predictions of his imminent demise.  And they surely will turn right around this week and lavish praise over him for his heroic fight.  The parasites.  But there's a valuable lesson for us all to learn in Swayze's story.  By never quitting, by continuing to fight until his last breath, he gave us an excellent example of what we should be doing as well.  For are we all not foolishly making plans, in the face of certain death?

By the by, it's not just a high-casualty year in the homo sapian division of the celebrity set.  We have a second celebrity animal death to report -- Geoffrey the Toys 'R Us giraffe has died.  Death One of the animal trifecta was Sydney the Taco Bell Chihuahua.  The Snuggle teddy bear is reportedly fearing for his life until another animal drops.

~~~
Item:

Michael Meissner was arrested last week in Arlington, Texas on seven felony counts – including possession or promotion of child pornography, promotion of prostitution and engaging in organized crime.  Bad, but sadly not shocking in this day and age.  Until you learn that Meissner was most recently the Police Chief of the town of Little River-Academy, Texas.  Still, not anything we've never heard of, right? 

Well, turns out Meissner had worked for 17 small-town police agencies in the past 18 years, according to the Texas Commission on Law and Enforcement Officer Standards and Education.  No, that is not a typo.  17 jobs in 18 years, in stints ranging from three weeks to two years.  This begs the question, just what standards are this commission charged to uphold?


~~~
Quote of the Week:

“But if I really say it, the radio won't play it
Unless I lay it between the lines."
 
--Peter, Paul and Mary, in I Dig Rock and Roll Music, 1967

Fare thee well, Mary.  Save us a Puff.

~~~
Internet Video of the Week:

Here.

Looks bogus to us, (the ball movement looks too jerky), but still a well-done video.

~~~
Idiot of the Week:

Mark Whicker, sports columnist for the Orange County Register.  Wow.  Just...wow.

The "What You Have Missed"  piece is a staple of the columnist repertoire.  It provides an opportunity to fill some inches without having to actually be very creative.  Much like the e-mail that floats around telling you all the "necessities" that did not exist when you were born, only to tell you at the end that you'd only be 23 or so for all that preceded it to be so, this type of column can be informative, entertaining and interesting.

But it's all about the premise.  In the sports world, there are many of these opportunities.  For instance, "If you were born when Julio Franco debuted in the Major Leagues, you would have seen..."  would be a good column.  (the end of WWII, the fall of Saigon, Smurfs...).  Whicker went another route in his column of 7 September 2009, entitled, "Many odd things have happened in sports the past 18 years".

But before we blast the guy, we do want to point out one positive from the piece.  If we don't do this now, you won't want to hear it later.  Trust us.

Wicker makes a great point as regards how we treat professional athletes, when he notes, "...some baseball players began taking drugs in order to hit more home runs and throw faster fastballs. Football players, who had cornered the market on most of their drugs, began driving drunk, slapping their wives, selling drugs, and killing people. The baseball players caught more grief."

Unfortunately, that truth was completely lost in the premise of the column: what kidnap, rape and false imprisonment victim Jaycee Dugard had missed in the sports world during the nearly twenty years she was locked in a shed in the back yard of Phillip Garrido's home. 

And it's not like it was a good column that was borne of an unfortunate choice of framing.  No -- the thing started out offensive as hell and only got worse, as it opened with, "It doesn't sound as if Jaycee Dugard got to see a sports page."

Gee Mark, ya think?!?

After a brief, perfunctorily-sensitive summation of what happened to Dugard, Wicker provides a pretty interesting list of events and trends that have taken place and evolved since June of 1991. 

But that premise -- there is just no way around it.  So Wicker apparently decided to go all in.  The closing of the piece read, "And ballplayers...came up with an expression for a home run that you might appreciate.  Congratulations, Jaycee. You left the yard."

Wow. 

The original piece, the apology from the idiot who wrote it and another from the irresponsible editors who let it go to print can be found here.

~~~
Vintage Album Review of the Week:

John Cougar Mellencamp
Scarecrow
1985

-Rain on the Scarecrow (5:21)*
-Grandma's Theme (:56)
-Small Town (3:42)*
-Minutes to Memories (4:11)
-Lonely Ol' Night (3:45)*
-The Face of the Nation (3:14)
-Justice and Independence 85 (3:32)
-Between a Laugh and a Tear (4:32)
-Rumbleseat (2:58)*
-You've Got to Stand for Somethin' (4:33)
-R.O.C.K. in the U.S.A. (A Salute to 60's Rock) (2:54)*
-The Kind of Fella I Am (2:55)**

* - singles
** - Was not on original LP, only the cassette.

What Michael Jackson was to USA for Africa and Live Aid, John Mellencamp has been to Farm Aid.  At the recording session for We Are the World, Mellencamp met Bob Dylan and Neil Young.  The former was quoted as saying, "I hope...they can just take a little bit of [the money]...and use it...to pay the mortgages on some of the farms and, the farmers here, [who] owe to the banks....").  The three got together and staged the first Live Aid concert, benefiting United States farmers.  There has been a concert every year since.

The seeds for this endeavor were planted firmly in Scarecrow.  Mellencamp had gone from Johnny Cougar to John Cougar Mellencamp, gravitating away from pop poster boy, toward serious artist.  He would record one more album as John Cougar Mellencamp, before ditching the stage name altogether. 

This album ended up being the best-selling of his career and for good reason.  Every song on it is a solid piece of craftsmanship, with tight instrumentation, excellent timing and superb lyrics.  Mellencamp covers a lot of territory here in his depiction of Middle America in the last quarter of the American Century, dealing with life, love, spirituality and the crushing financial realities of Reaganomics. 

The themes that run through the album are timeless.  When the protagonist tells the man he called to come auction off his farm, "Calling it your job, 'ole Haas sure don't make it right, but if you want I'll say a prayer for your soul tonight", on the title track, he could just as easily be a current day unemployed dot-commer in suburban Los Angeles.

And that is what makes this album work.  The straightforward production, topical lyrics and solid vocals, particularly by backup singer Crystal Taliafero, keep the work sounding as fresh in 2009 as it did in 1985.  What we derisively though of as "a bunch of songs about farms" is in reality a prescient look into the soul of the heartland.

Music: 4 (of 5)
Lyrics: 5 (of 5)
Authorship: 4 (of 4)
Production: 3 (of 3)
Packaging: 2 (of 2)
First Blush: 1 (of 2)
Aging: 3 (of 3)
Videos: 1 (of 1)
Total: 23
Stars: 4.6 (of 5)

~~~
Parting shots:

Super-big props to Carolyn Savage on doing the right thing.  More on her next time...Can the Jets be as good as they look?...The Magic Number for the Defending World Series Champion Philadelphia Phillies is 5...The results of last week's poll are in and the Pittsburgh Steelers are our readers' pick to win the Super Bowl, pulling in 26% of the vote, with the Cowboys and Other coming in second, with 20% each, followed by the Chargers at 13% and the Pats, G-Men and Eagles each pulling in 6%.  This week's poll is at the bottom of this page.

And with that, we bid you adieu.

Until next time,

Keep the Faith

Focused on Richard Riley

We're off!

Item:

Beware the Georgetown Cuddler!

With two attacks in the last month, DC police fear a return of the scourge of the neighborhood.  In eleven separate incidents over the last two years, a white male of 25-30 years old has broken into the homes of female university students as they slept, climbed into their bed...and cuddled.  Yes, that says "cuddled".  The understandably freaked out victims have all reported that when confronted, The Cuddler immediately flees.  Presumable to hook up with the Johns Hopkins Spooner.

We don't make this stuff up.  OK, we did make up the Spooner part.

~~~
Item:

Here's some food for thought.  President Obama spoke to our nation's schoolchildren this week.  By all accounts, the overwhelming majority of United Statesians are just fine with the contents of his address.  (If you wish to see it, click here.  If you wish to read it, click here.)  Prior to the talk though, passions ran high both for and against Obama's planned speech.  FfF is proud to welcome two friends of the blog, who will serve as guest commentators to weigh in on both sides of the issue: Patrick Philips and Joel Williams.  Patrick will represent the side in favor of the speech and Joel will represent those opposed.  After a coin toss, it was determined Patrick would lead off.

President Obama’s plan to address the nation’s school children immediately spawned a furor from those who were convinced that the speech would be hardcore propaganda about the health care debate. Clearly, these are parents who don’t want their own propaganda challenged in their own home.

Let's face it: there's no other reason parents would object so strenuously. Expecting a mere difference of opinion on views of health care wouldn't warrant such hostility.

On Facebook, parents angrily debated whether a president should have to obtain prior written approval from parents before addressing children. As if any president could possibly obtain a permission slip from every single parent in the nation. Some parents won't even bother showing up at their schools' open houses.

But these parents were just sure they knew what he was going to talk about: he was secretly going to ram his agenda down the throats of their little darlings.

Secretly, despite the fact that his address will air in classrooms around the country. Secretly, despite the fact that every local station is already trying to make arrangements with schools to shoot footage of local students watching the address and interview a few of them about what they thought. Secretly, despite the fact that the address will also be streamed live on the internet, so even parents who are busy working can still log on and see it. And secretly, despite the fact that it's been the norm for years now that the White House would make transcripts of major addresses available before they are delivered.

Doesn't exactly sound like a recipe for some covert conspiracy, does it?

Such opposition begs two important questions: first, have these objecting parents dropped the ball? Have they done such a poor job of training their kids to think for themselves that anything their kids hear becomes the ultimate truth, no matter what it is? The notion that one single speech could totally "brainwash" their children is ludicrous. Yet that seems to be what the fear centers on.

The second question is even more damning: if, say, a 5th grader, who's about 11 years old, hears one speech and is that easily influenced, do parents truly believe that in the seven years it will take before that child can place a vote that matches his "new" world view, they won't be able to snap him back onto the, pardon the pun, "right" track?

If we are truly a nation that values everyone's right to free speech, and if we really value the American way of truth, justice and democracy, we wouldn't be trying to suppress opposing views. We wouldn't be trying to control what everyone hears.

We'd be trying to teach our kids right and wrong by looking at all sides. How else can they learn how to judge for themselves?

Patrick K. Philips

Charleston, SC
__________

Isn't it bad enough that the Liberal Agenda has so permeated our society that my child can have an abortion without my permission but her school cannot dispense an aspirin without my written consent?  Why should she also be compelled to listen to the single greatest proponent of a lifestyle my wife, myself and my God are opposed to?

My child is at school to receive an education, not to be brainwashed by neuveau Nazis of the liberal intelligencia.  Sure Oblahma's speech was innocuous enough, but only through the courage of Fox News and the Republican base, who forced him to change it.

I am responsible for setting the moral tone in my child's home.  I do not need my work undone by the school system.  My daughter is already faced with the onslaught of a morally bankrupt society.  The last thing we as parents need is for her to hear someone of the stature of a President tell her that we should be paying for insurance for illegal aliens, letting terrorists run amok for fear of "offending" them and that the murder of unborn innocents is just fine because, "after all, the President said so."

There are parents who voted for Barack Hussein Obama.  And their children are more than welcome to listen to his snake oil sales pitch.  My child, however will NEVER be compelled to accept as right what the Demon-crats try to pass as of as "moral". 

Joel Williams
Happy, TX
__________


Patrick Philips is television producer, writer, Mac lover, and Christian, though not necessarily in that order. He lives with his dog in Charleston, South Carolina.  His blog, Patrick's Place can be found here.


Joel Williams is a Texas Panhandle farmer, poet and youth minister.  He lives with his wife and daughter.

~~~
Fare thee well, Army Archerd, we'll see you on the Other Side. Save us some scoop.

~~~
Item:

Trouble's a-brewin' in South Texas, (with a capital T and that rhymes with B and it stands for Border)!  Seems Kelt Cooper is entering his first school year as Superintendent of the San Felipe del Rio Independent School District.  Having come from the Nogales, AZ school district, Cooper is familiar with the distinct challenges of running a school system in a border town.

One of those challenges is children coming across the border from Mexico to go to school.  In his previous position, he had once discovered 32 students listed as living at the same address, which turned out to be a vacant lot.  He knew he had similar problems in Del Rio.  So he asked border authorities to count the number of school-aged children coming into the country on school days, for a week.  Authorities advised the superintendant that an average of 540 children were crossing the border daily.

Now let's put this in perspective.  The population of Del Rio, Texas is 33,867.  According to 2000 Census data, there were 10,778 households, 42% of which had at least one child under the age of 18 living within them.  So that would leave  4,527 households with minors in them.  With an average family size of 3.56 people -- and assuming none of the children are too young to go to school -- that would be 16,116 children.  The Del Rio Chamber of Commerce estimates the total school-aged population to be 10,450, so let's split the difference and call it 13,283.  540 students would represent a full 4% of the total school attendance in a district whose median household income is $27,387.  So this is a legitimate financial problem for the district.

But things get a little tricky here.  A 1982 Texas Supreme Court ruling makes it illegal to discriminate against a student based on immigration status.  However, Texas state law decrees that in order to attend any public school, the student must reside within the district's limits.  This effectively, if enforced, prevents the child from benefiting from his mother coming across the border, having said offspring and returning to the homeland.  The kid may be a citizen, but if he does not live here, he cannot go to school here.

Cooper though, realizing this is a residency issue and not an immigration one, is trying to do the right thing for all parties involved.  He has sent out letters advising that the students who do not live within the district's area will be unregistered from classes until they can prove residency.  But instead of just kicking the kids out and washing his hands of them, the superintendent is working with state agencies and the school board to calculate an appropriate tuition scale, so the option may be offered to these students to remain in school and get their education.  Or, as he put it, "We are saying if we have room, you can pay tuition.  We don't want this to be a burden on the taxpayers but we don't want to turn kids away."

This is exactly the kind of forward-thinking, compassionate, pragmatic approach that is sorely lacking in almost everyone in authority who approaches the immigration issue.  Washington would do well to take a look to the Southwest to see how, with a little ingenuity, workable solutions can be realized.

~~~
Quote of the Week:

“I've seen the rats lie down on Broadway; I watched the mighty skyline fall."
--Billy Joel, in Miami 2017 (Seen the Lights Go Out on Broadway), 1976

~~~
Internet Video of the Week:

Here.

Now, the video has not been updated since June of 2006 but if you have absolutely no life whatsoever and want to see the all of the pictures, as of 31 July of this year, click here.  You sick bastard.  You clicked, didn't you?  Well, having no life is a prerequisite of reading this blog, so we guess we should not be surprised.  You should probably click on this too, though.  No, really.  Go back and click.  You'll thank us.

~~~
Ridiculous Story That Actually Appeared in a Publication, of the Week:

Here.

We just want to see this dude.  I mean, he had a wife and three girlfriends, got at least one of them to lend him money and had her pay for the room.  Wow.  He's clearly not rich, but something drew them to him.

~~~
Idiot of the Week:

Easily goes to Joe Wilson, (R) SC.  This is clearly not a good year for Palmetto pols.  Not only did dude make an ass of himself by insulting the President of the United States in front of a joint session of Congress, while on national television.  He then took the cowardly way out by giving a bogus apology.  In a statement released by his office, Wilson said, "This evening I let my emotions get the best of me", following that up the next day with, "it was spontaneous".  Really?  How is that possible, Joe, since members of Congress are each provided advance copies of Presidential addresses?  We realize we may need to explain this to you, since you're from South Carolina, where apparently everyone but the politicians have some damned sense, so let's do just that.  It means you had your "emotional reaction" when you read the speech, not when the President made the remark.  Your entire display was a calculated, premeditated action.  If not, then how would a photographer have known to be trained on you at this exact moment?  Had you manned up and said, "you know, I just can't stand the guy constantly misleading the American people and something bold had to be done", then we would have respected, if not agreed with, you.  But no.  You didn't do that.  You took the cowardly way out.

And no, Joe, Glenn, Rush, et al, saying, "they did it to Bush" is not an acceptable rationale.  Barack Obama is the President of the United States and as such deserves the respect commensurate with the office.  If people disrespected GW Bush, GHW Bush, Harry Truman or Franklin Pierce, they were just as wrong.  Doing the same thing does not necessarily make it right.  (take the pun as intentional or not)

~~~
Vintage Album Review of the Week:

The Hooters

Nervous Night
1985

-And We Danced (3:50)*
-Day by Day (3:27)*
-All You Zombies (6:02)*
-Don't Take My Car Out Tonight (3:56)
-Nervous Night (4:01)**
-Hanging on a Heartbeat (4:23)
-Where Do the Children Go (5:31)*
-South Ferry Road (3:44)
-She Comes in Colors (4:16)
-Blood From a Stone (3:59)

* - singles
** - not included on the original LP

Many a record label has destroyed the career of one of their own bands.  What Columbia Records did to The Hooters is one such tale.

Toiling in relative obscurity, Philly bar band The Hooters caught a break when one of their buddies made it big.  They rode his coattails into a record deal, wore the clothes the label bought for them, adopted the image the A&R guys picked out for them and went along with it all, thinking, "yeah, but once we get a hit, we can do what we want.  Then we can be who we want to be."  They quickly learned that it doesn't quite work that way.  It is a common tale in the recording industry.

In 1984, producer Rob Chertoff, who had attended the University of Pennsylvania, recruited a couple of his buddies from a local bar band to serve as session players for an album he was producing.  While in the studio, one of the guys in the band sat down with the artist whose album they were working on and wrote a song.  The album they were working on was Cyndi Lauper's debut, She's So Unusual, the song, Time After Time.  And Chertoff's buddies were Rob Hyman and Eric Bazilian of The Hooters.

When Lauper exploded into stardom and Time After Time became a #1 single, Chertoff parlayed that into a record deal for his buddies and they hit the studio to record their major label debut.  Columbia scored them the opening slot for the Philadelphia portion of Live Aid and The Hooters were on their way.

Then the suits took over.

All You Zombies was released as the first single.  By far the heaviest song on the album, it's biblical themes and  foreboding tone was definitely different than anything else on the radio at the time and it really made no sense to make it the first single, other than the fact that it was on a previously-released indie label album and they were hoping that the Philly fan base, recognizing the song, would rally around it and spring the band mainstream, a la WMMR's playing an unauthorized copy of Captain Jack, in 1973, launching the career of a certain Piano Man.  Even if this was the case, the disparity of the song from the rest of the album made it an extremely poor choice for a debut single and the charts reflected it, as the song peaked at #58.

Columbia got it right with the second single, And We Danced, the melodica-intro'd, guitar-fueled romp that soared to #21 on the Billboard chart, opens the LP and sets the tone for the best of its material.  Again, the label blew it with the next single though, releasing Day by Day which, although it actually charted higher than it's predecessor (#18), was one of the weaker tunes on the album, so laden with synthesizers that it started sounding dated about five minutes after it was recorded.

Then it just went off the rails, as the label decided it was time to release a "message song".  Enter Where Do the Children Go, with a guest appearance by Patty Smyth, who was apparently taking a break from shooting down the walls of heartache.  Bang-bang went Nervous Night's chances and with it any sense of continuity for the audience to grab onto.  Children was a good enough song, but releasing it at this juncture completely confused the listening audience.  Were the Hooters a Bad Company wannabe band, Philly's version of the Stray Cats or a sappy Message Band?

By the time the follow up album was released two years later, no one knew.  Or cared.  And that's a shame, because there is some excellent music on Nervous Night.  Don't Take My Car Out Tonight and South Ferry Road pulse fast and free and the reggae'd-up reworking of the previously locally-released Hanging on a Heartbeat would have served much better as the requisite "ballad" single.

This album is clearly from the mid-1980's in sound and production but this is not a bad thing.  Outside of Day by Day and, to a lesser extent She Comes in Colors, (the latter of which was the only song on the album the band did not write), the material sounds retro without being stale.  For a fun, carefree trip back to the mid 80's, one could do much, much worse than this hidden gem of a collection.

Music: 4 (of 5)
Lyrics: 3 (of 5)
Authorship: 3 (of 4)
Production: 3 (of 3)
Packaging: 2 (of 2)
First Blush: 2 (of 2)
Aging: 2 (of 3)
Videos: 1 (of 1)
Total: 20
Stars: 4.0 (of 5)

~~~
Parting shots:

We're still waiting for a WMD to be found.  Just one...Incidentally, in the 24 hours following his staged outburst, Joe Wilson raised over $200,000 in donations from his supporters...There is nothing new or original we have to add to the September 11th rememberences, so we just remind you -- We have 2996 reasons to NEVER. FORGET.  Eternal rest grant unto them o Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them; may their souls and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.  Amen.

And with that, we bid you adieu.

Until next time,

Keep the Faith

PS: By way of Housekeeping, we are aware the Definition of 
Terms link is broken.  It will be fixed shortly.  We have also 
removed the Countdown feature, until some technical issues 
can be resolved.