Focused on the NBA: 2k9-10 Preview

Before we dive into the roundball, we want to share an article that tries to solve one of life's most elusive mysteries: why would anyone be a Cleveland Browns fan?  The piece, by espn.com Page 2's Geoff LaTulippe, can be found here.

Now to basketball!

The NBA is in danger of turning into Major League Baseball.  And that is not a good thing.  Just as, every August, Pirate, Padre and Expo nee Nationals loyalists see their hopes traded away to the Big Money teams in New York and L.A., a disturbing trend took place this Association off season.  The rich got richer, as is wont to happen, but this time around, it was the poorest of the poor who facilitated much of the movement.

The Nets traded away Vince Carter and got Rafer Alston and spares.  The Bucks shipped Richard Jefferson in exchange for three guys they immediately cut.  We don't know what the hell the plan in in Minnesota, but it appears to involve shedding any player who is to be paid an actual salary.  These moves, and countless other like them, will make for a great playoff chase and even better post season series but are bad for the long-term health of the game. It remains to be seen if the moves of this summer past are all about the general economy and/or positioning for the Free Agent Class of 2010. or if they are a harbinger of the future of the NBA.  We hope it is the former.

Now on the the preseason awards and useless predictions:

First Coach to be Fired:

Scott Brooks, Oklahoma City Thunder.  Unrealistic expectations, paired with a mediocre team and a lack of other coaches on the hot seat make Scotty our pick.

Don't be shocked if it's: Don Nelson, Golden State Warriors.  Just a hunch.

Breakout Season Coming From:

Greg Oden, Portland Trail Blazers.  Dude is itching to play after a wasted rookie campaign.  With a year-older crew around him and hopes for a long playoff run ahead, look for the old man to be a monster this year.

Don't be shocked if it's: Aaron Brooks, Houston Rockets

We Give Up On:

Rafer Alston, New Jersey Nets.  A really good streetballer.  That's all he will ever be.

We Still Say He's a Star In-the-Making:

Andrea Bargnani, Toronto Raptors.  But if we don't see a breakout this season, we're done with him too.

Best Off Season, Team:

Orlando Magic.  The defending Conference Champions traded Corky Turkoglu high, picked up Brandon Bass and Matt Barnes, then suckered the Mavs into sending to them via trade, the cash needed to match Dallas' offer sheet to Marcin Gortat.  We're not sold on Vince the Malingerer being the key to a title, but this summer was a classic example of a team reloading on the fly.  Also considered: The Los Angeles Lakers picking up Ron-Ron; The Boston Celtics bulking up with 'Sheed, Marquis Daniels.

Worst Off Season, Team:

We want to give this to the Minnesota Timberwolves, but we can't.  Sure they drafted three point guards in the first round -- and then watched the best of the trio refuse to sign; sure they made moves out of financial desperation rather than competitive desire; sure, their team is going to be horrendous this season.  Still, they made a great hire in Kurt Rambis at head coach and finally jettisoned Lerch McHale.

That leaves the Milwaukee Bucks as the team with the worst off season.  They traded Richard Jefferson for, when subsequent deals were done, Carlos Delfino, then let Ramon Sessions and Charlie Villanueva walk.  They got one spare part, in exchange for their second thru fourth-leading scorers from last season. This team will struggle to merely compete.  And they have the ugliest uniforms in professional sports.  Also considered: Houston Rockets' injury parade; Golden State Warriors' Captain Jack flare up.

Best Off Season, Fans:

The Dallas Mavericks turned Jerry Stackhouse, Deaven George and Greg Buckner into Shawn Marion, Drew Gooden and Tim Thomas.  They also have Erik Dampier's expiring contract to trade at the deadline, in exchange for another top-tier free agent.  Things have not looked this good in Big D since the start of the 2006-07 season.

Worst Off Season, Fans:

Sacramento Kings.  The worst defensive team in the NBA last season hired Paul Westphal as their head coach.  Not only is Whestphal the epitome of the offensive-minded coach, he had also been out of the league for eight years.  Oh yeah, the team is leaving Sacramento, too.  You are a Kings fan -- fyl.

Best Off Season Trade:

San Antonio Spurs aquiring Richard Jefferson for Bruce Bowen, Fabricio Oberto and Kurt Thomas.  We're not convinced Jefferson is as good as advertised, but picking up a guy of his skill, in exchange for three guys that had no future in the Alamo City is just another example of how well-run an organization the Spurs are.

Worst Off Season Trade:

Golden State Warriors sending  Marco Belinelli to Toronto (where he will thrive), for a broken down Devean George, who was horrid in his two seasons in Dallas.

Sam Cassell Award for he who will bitch the loudest this season about the contract he voluntarily signed:

Stephen Jackson, Golden State Warriors.  Dude signed an extension in July, got suspended in September and was stripped of his captaincy this month.  Look for him to be shipped out sooner than later.  Look for him to be an absolute cancer until then.

Shawn Bradley Award for most undeserved contract given to a free agent: 

Theo Ratliff, San Antonio Spurs. Also considered: Juwan Howard, Portland Trail Blazers.

Tyronn Lue Award for he who will turn three good playoff games into a ridiculous long-term contract:

Tyron Lue, Boston Celics.  Lue has been named Director of Basketball Develpoment for the C-Men.

Penny Hardaway Award for most overrated player in the NBA: 

Michael Redd, Milwaukee Bucks.  We just don't get the fascination with this one-dimensional player, on a bad team.

Fashion Award:  

The Mavs, Cavs and Blazers have some great new alternate unis and the Bobcats have quite possibly the worst of all-time, but the hands-down winner ofr this year's award has to be the Philadelphia 76'ers, who, in a nod to history, went from this to this.  Classic lines, clear fonts -- a great look.  

All-Jobless Team, as of 25 October:

PG – Stephon Marbury
SG – Jerry Stackhouse
SF – Bruce Bowen
PF – Malik Rose
C – Lorenzen Wright
Sixth Man: Darius Miles
Coach: Avery Johnson

Rookie of the Year:

Blake Griffin, Los Angeles Clippers.  If we picked anyone else, it would be a purely contrarian move.  And we'd never do that.

And the Number One pick in the 2008 NBA Draft belongs to: 

Las Vegas...err Sacramento Kings.

Where They Will Be, One Year From Now:

Le Bron James -- Cleveland

Dwayne Wade -- Dallas (or somewhere else that is not Miami)

Chris Bosh -- Toronto

Where they stand at the start of the season, our initial Power Rankings:

30.  Sacramento Kings - Just nothing to hope for this season.

29.  Milwaukee Bucks - Picking up Hakeem Warrick may be only good off season move.

28.  Moscow Nyets - The fire sale continues.  Will the move to Brooklyn ever happen? 

27.  Memphis Grizlies - AI will score 50 per game.  And Memphis will lose 80% of them.

26.  New York Knicks - When the season ends, and LBJ is not in NYC, the real rebuilding can begin. 

25.  Minnesota Timberwolves - Bad teams win a lot early and late in the season.  Minny is raw, but talented.

24.  Golden State Warriors - You thought the flame-out of Run TMC was ugly?  Just wait.

23.  Indiana Pacers - Traded crap for crap with the W's.  Neither got appreciable better.

22.  Houston Rockets - Time to pull the plug on the Sleepy McGrady/Yao era and rebuild. 

21.  Oklahoma City Thunder - Playoff talk is nonsense.

20.  Washington Wizards - The perpetually overrated Wiz have an appropriately overrated coach, in Flip.

19.  Chicago Bulls - Another team banking on the Summer of 2010.  Foolishly.

18.  Miami Heat - Better hope D-Wade is not basing his decision on the outcome of this season.

17.  Charlotte Bobcats - Can Tyson Chandler and LB get them to their first post season berth?

16.  Philadelphia 76'ers - It's all about Elton.

15.  Phoenix Suns - Nash and Amare get you to the playoffs at least, right?

14.  Detroit Pistons - Their rebuild on the fly will keep them at least mediocre.

13.  Los Angeles Clippers - Griffin and Butler are nice upgrades.  But they are the Clippers.

12.  New Orleans Hornets - This may be the last time for a while they enter a season this high.

11.  Utah Jazz - If the Boozer situation explodes, they will tumble, Jerry Sloan greatness notwithstanding.

10.  Toronto Raptors - There's an interesting mix North of the border.  This team will be fun to watch.  

  9.  San Antonio Spurs - Not sold on Jefferson as the answer.  Can they stay healthy?

  8.  Denver Nuggets - We're still not convinced last year was real.  Can they repeat the performance?

  7.  Atlanta Hawks - Can Coach Woodson finally reach Jamal Crawford?  

  6.  Portland Trail Blazers - Still a year away from being scary-good.

  5.  Dallas Mavericks - Solid team can be legitimate contender with the right trade for the Damp contract.

  4.  Cleveland Cavaliers - Shaq + 'Bron could = ring, if Delonte West stays on his meds.

  3.  Boston Celtics - It all comes down to KG's knees.

  2.  Orlando Magic - Surprise winners of the East got even better.

  1.  Los Angeles Lakers - Ron Artest was the perfect addition to this team.

And finally, our annual Useless Playoff Predictions:

EAST: 

Division Champions:  Boston Celtics, Cleveland Cavaliers, Orlando Magic
Should get in:  Atlanta Hawks, Toronto Raptors

The Scrum: Philadelphia 76'ers, Miami Heat, Chicago Bulls, Detroit Pistons, Washington Wizards

Give the Slots to: Philly, Miami and Washington

Round One: 
(1) Orlando over (8) Washington 
(2) Cleveland over (7) Miami 
(3) Boston over (6) Toronto 
(4) Atlanta over (5) Chicago 

Conference Semifinals: 
Orlando over Atlanta 
Boston over Cleveland 

Conference Finals: 
Boston Celtics over Orlando Magic 

WEST:

Division Champions: Denver Nuggets, Los Angeles Lakers, Dallas Mavericks 
Should get in: Portland Trail Blazers, Utah Jazz, San Antonio Spurs, New Orleans Hornets
The scrum: Los Angeles Clippers, Phoenix Suns
Give the slot to: Los Angeles Clippers. 

Round One: 
(1) Los Angeles Lakers over (8) Los Angeles Clippers 
(7) Utah over (2) Denver  
(3) Dallas over (6) New Orleans
(4) Portland over (5) San Antonio

Conference Semifinals: 
LA Lakers over Portland 
Dallas over Utah 

Conference Finals: 
Los Angeles Lakers over Dallas Mavericks 

Your 2009-2010 NBA Champions: 

Los Angeles Lakers, over Boston, in 7. 

30 teams...82 games...236,160 minutes of pure roundball bliss!

Life is good.

PS: The results of last week's poll, asking for World Series Predictions:

Phillies vs Angels - 50%

Phillies vs Yankees/Dodgers vs Angels - 25% each.

This week's poll is at the bottom of this post.

Focused on Ron LeFLore

We're off!

Item:

Time magazine has done something very interesting.  They have bought a house in Detroit.  Intentionally.

They have moved some writers in and will have others reside temporarily, to chronicle the death and hoped-for resurrection of a city.  We knew things were bad in Motown.  But damn.

Just a few figures:

--Detroit was once the 4th-largest city in the nation.  It is now 11th
--70% of the homicides in Detroit in the last 12 months remain unsolved
--In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, unemployment in New Orleans topped out at 11%
    -Detroit's unemployment rate today is am incomprehensible 28.9%
--51% of the houses in Detroit are vacant
--There are 0 national chain grocery stores within the 138 square-mile city limits.  Zero!

If figures don't convey the state of things adequately, here is a photographic essay of the city.  Here is the cover story from this week's issue. (it is very long)

We find it both alarming that this can happen to a United States city and a relief that it is not the one we live in.    As Time continues its journey, we'll pass along things we find interesting.  We've added a link to Time's Detroit Blog in the side panel.  If you tweet, you can follow the project by clicking on the cover story then the link to Twitter.

~~~
Item:

Here's some food for thought.

Bruce Hornsby was onto something.  Some things indeed will never change.

Lest we be deluded into thinking that the Jena 6 saga would actually change anything in Louisiana, we present for your perusal one Keith Bardwell, Justice of the Peace for Tangipahoa Parish.  Bardwell refused to issue a marriage license to Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay.  Because they were related?  No.  Because one of them was underage?  Nope.  Because one of them was legally barred from marrying?  Uh-uh.  No, he refused to issue the license because Humphrey is white and McKay is black.

But it's not racism.  "“I do ceremonies for negr...color....um...black couples right here in my house. My main concern is for the children,”   Riiiight.  (ok, we added the negr...color...um... part)

Guess that's just the way it is.

~~~

Fare thee well, Captain Lou, we'll see you on the Other Side. Save us a rubber band, a good seat by the ring and some of those gold coins that Mario goes for.

~~~
Item:

All we're saying is that the Balloon Boy of Colorado had to be put up to it by the parents.  Think about this -- your kid releases a balloon into the sky, gets scared he will get into trouble and hides in the attic.  You can't find him. The cops get called.  An ass-load of cops, helicopters, rescue workers and half the FAA start tracking the balloon, thinking the kid's in it.  The story goes viral and about half the office workers -- and all of the cable news network viewers -- are riveted for like an hour.  Balloon crashes, everyone freaks out.  Turns out junior is safe in the attic, and all is well.

After you hug the life out of the kid, what would you do?  You'd beat his ass.  Then be mortified at the trouble your kid caused.  This is assuming you are not an attention whore.  The parents of this kid were.  And our money is on them having planned it.

And just an idea to the parents of young Falcon (yes, that was really his name).  Name the next kid Goldfish.  He'll be easier to keep track of.

~~~
Quote of the Week:

“Qui cantat, bis orat” or, "He who sings prays twice".

--Augustine of Hippo, c.430

~~~
Internet Video of the Week:

Here.

~~~
Ridiculous Story That Actually Appeared in a Publication of the Week:

Here.

Bitch, please!

~~~
Idiot of the Week:

Rick Perry, Governor of Texas.

We brought you the story of Todd Willingham last week.  Governor Goodhair broke his silence on the case on Wednesday, offering the profound nugget that he is "convinced by other factors in the case beyond the science that (Willingham) is a murderer."  Because surely we don't want arson investigations being thrown off track by something as silly as this "science" nonsense.

Perhaps we should depend on the work of mystics and psychics.  Like at trial.

~~~

Vintage Album Review of the Week:
As reviewed by Guest Blogger John Waldowski

Yeah, Waldo flaked on us, so we have to sub in something we can review on the fly.  Here goes:

Billy Joel
The Bridge
1986

-Running on Ice (3:15)
-This is the Time (4:59)*
-A Matter of Trust (4:09)*
-Modern Woman (3:48)*
-Baby Grand (4:02)*
-Big Man on Mulberry St. (5:26)
-Temptation (4:12)
-Code of Silence (5:15)
-Getting Closer (5:00)
* - singles

We really got into music relatively late, at around 12 or 13 years old.  So The Bridge was the first "new" Billy Joel album we ever bought.  Actually bought is not the right term. It was August of 1986 and we were on the Wildwood boardwalk.  We passed some type of game of chance and saw the prizes were albums.  Sure as hell, there was a pirate copy of the two-weeks-from-release new Billy Joel album.  We proceeded to blow about twenty bucks in increments of a quarter handed to the guy working the game until dude finally took pity on us and just gave us the damned thing.  We raced to the hotel room and realized -- we don't have a damned turntable!

We finally did listen to it and by way of review, we will chronicle our reaction.

Needle hits vinyl.  A few seconds later -- BAM! a frenetic burst of keyboards then...Sting starts singing?  What the hell?  No, it's Billy.  But he kind of sounds like Sting.  All in all we really liked Running on Ice.  It should have been a single...Song fades then This is the Time starts.  Kind of reminded us of the Jeff Beck/Rod Stewart collaboration on People Get Ready.  But we liked the seaside setting in the lyrics and the LP was off to a good start...1-2-ah 1234. WOW.  Wow oh wow oh fuckingaye wow!  We knew the first single from the album was called A Matter of Trust.  But wow!  It was amazing.  We loved it.  Billy on guitar! (ok so it was rhythm not lead, but still!)  It instantly became our favorite Billy Joel song...Then came Modern Woman, which had been released on the Ruthless People soundtrack and had peaked on the Billboard chart at number 9. We dug it and were thinking this was the greatest album in the history of ever.  An Innocent Who?...Then the opening notes of Baby Grand trickled through the speakers.  OK, we got it -- Ray Charles was a legend.  And he was like 473 years old, and blind.  But we initially hated the song.  Billy sang. "they say that no one's gonna play this on the radio" and we thought, "damned straight! (of course this didn't stop us from dragging our buddy Billyrob to see Charles that winter at the South Carolina State Fair, in the hopes of hearing Baby Grand -- he didn't play it but his set was amazing and we instantly became fans).  All in all we were pretty pleased with the first side of the album.  Then we turned it over...Four songs?  What the hell is this?  You've had three years and we get four freaking songs?  And not like three songs and one that's like 20 minutes long.  No -- four songs.  Oh well, they gotta be as good as the first side, right?...The horns of Big Man on Mulberry Street fired off and we were just frozen.  This had to be some type of pressing mistake at the album factory.  That's why it was on the damned boardwalk early!  Then the singing started.  It was like Billy Joel bouncing back from laryngitis. Poorly.  It sucked!...Then a ballad.  Temptation was a nice, melodic piano-based love song.  "OK", we thought, "now we're back on track.  And the next song was a duet with Cyndi Lauper.  This had to be good...Yeah, about that.  Not so much.  Code of Silence was a mangled mass of harmonica, acoustic guitar and Lauperesque yelping.  No likey...Last chance Billy.  And Getting Closer failed to save the day...We were crushed.  It started out so great, then just crashed and burned.  But that first side!  

The Bridge was the last full-length album Billy Joel and his longtime producer Phil Ramone would work on together.  Listening to it now it is east to tell why.  the production is awful.  The "really cool" echo on Billy's voice on Trust was unintentional.  You can actually hear him call out chords during Code and the seams are clearly audible throughout.  Ramone allowed Billy oversing Temptation badly and, having heard the alternate, unused version of Closer as part of Billy's 2006 My Lives box set release, clearly cose the wrong one to put on the album, wasting the best of Steve Winwood's Hammond organ work.

This was a very uneven album and the material really doesn't sound like it all belongs on the same set.  Trust and Grand have held up well and, surprisingly, Big Man is now one of our favorite songs.  Running should have been a single and, had it been produced right, Temptation would have probably been the better ballad single.  Modern has aged badly but the rest of it really hasn't.  It just wasn't done that well to start with.

Music:  3 (of 5)
Lyrics:  3 (of 5)
Authorship:  3 (of 4)
Production: 0 (of 3)
Packaging: 2 (of 2)
First Blush: 1 (of 2)
Aging: 1 (of 3)
Videos: 1 (of 1) No video for Modern or Time, but we love the chick that showed up with a rat for Trust (at 2:44 in the clip linked above) -- and the fact that Billy is playing a Gibson signed by Les Paul. We figure that's enough to salvage the point.
Total: 14
Stars: 2.8 (of 5)

~~~
Parting shots:

It's League Championship series time in Major League Baseball and we're making the call for a Freeway Series: Phillies in 7, Yankees in 6.  (I-95 goes right from Philly to NYC).  What do you think?  Click on the poll below and we'll publish results next week...Last week the readers got it right by picking the Phillies, Yankees and Dodgers to win their series, while the poll was split on the BoSox/Halos series...Big props to an unnamed blogger, for balling up for bikers, here...Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Cribbs wants a new contract.  Seems his current deal only runs through 2012.  And pays him a meager $1.35 Million per year.  For a team that has one win.  For whom he is not the leading receiver.  When asked about the situation, Cribbs replied, "I'm gonna be stuck." If by stuck you mean forced to earn $25,961.54 a week for essentially doing nothing, then we suggest you ask a UAW "worker" how he copes with, essentially, the same situation.  Cribbs went on to lament, "I don't know what I am going to do."  How about shutting the hell up and playing?  In the last year of Michael Jordan's rookie contract, he was the 27th-highest-paid player in the NBA.  But he never complained.  How did that work out?

And with that, we bid you adieu.

Until next time,

Keep the Faith

Focused on Sharon Tate

We're off!

Item:

Roman Polanski is a rapist.  We don't care if he is a great director.  We don't care if he's a really nice guy.  We don't care if he's lived in out-in-the-open-life-of-a-millionaire "hiding" for decades.  Dude drugged and raped a 13 year old girl. 

We don't care if she looked older.  We don't care if she acted older.  We don't care if she says the media has been worse to her than Polanski was. 

While we do care that Polanski was in Poland when the Nazis rolled through, ending up in the Krakow Ghetto, it has no bearing on the fact that he confessed to giving alcohol and drugs to a child and sodomizing her.  He was convicted in a court of law -- he did it.  And he needs to go to prison. 

We understand plea bargains and how they can get someone to take a guilty verdict to get a lighter sentence, but there is no way in hell someone confesses to raping a little girl unless he did it.  But even that is immaterial.  The conviction is the only thing that matters.  As far as the court is concerned, he is guilty.  That's all there is to it. 

He also needs to get the extra seven years the rest of us would get for skipping bail. 

And he needs to be in GenPop.

~~~
Reason 847,612 we hate Texas:

On 23 December 1991, a house in Corsicana, Texas burned down.  Three children died in the fire.  Their father, Todd Willingham,  was charged with murder and arson in connection.  He was offered a life sentence in exchange for a confession and declined.  He went to trial, was convicted and sentenced to death.  After Willingham exhausted all of his appeals, the execution was carried out on 17 February 2004.

Since the execution, nine different fire investigators, in three separate reports, have reviewed the Willingham fire -- one of these was commissioned by the State to do so.  Each found that there was no evidence of arson.  In fact, Dr. Craig Beyler, hired by the Texas Forensic Science Commission to review the case, wrote in his report that, "a finding of arson could not be sustained". He went on to say the evidence at trial was, "hardly consistent with a scientific mind-set and is more characteristic of mystics or psychics".

Clearly an innocent man was murdered by the State of Texas.  Clearly, despite all the appeals Willingham had at his disposal, the system failed to get it right.  How then, can anyone justify the practice of capital punishment?

One would think the State would want to do anything it can to prevent this from ever happening again.  In that vein, the Texas Forensic Science Commission was scheduled to meet on 2 October 2009 to discuss the Beyer Report, in preparation for presentation to the Governor. 

On 30 September -- two days before the scheduled meeting -- Governor Rick Perry replaced the chair and two of the other seven members of the commission.  The new chair, John Bradley, promptly cancelled the meeting.  When asked why, he responded that he needed, "to get up to speed on what the Forensic Science Commission does", before proceeding.  When asked when the commission would be meeting next, Bradley responded, "oh, I couldn't even begin to guess when."

So the Governor of Texas replaced damned-near half of a commission, on the eve of a critical meeting, putting a man in charge who doesn't even know what the commission does and has no idea when they will reconvene.  Lovely.

Did we mention that Perry faces a primary challenge in March?  We're sure it's totally unrelated to his not wanting a commission to find a man was executed in error, almost assuredly leading to a moratorium on the practice.

~~~
Fare thee well, Susan Atkins, enjoy Hell.  You died exactly where you should have.

~~~
Quote of the Week:

“Problems that go away on their own come back on their own."
--Chuck Sullivan, 2009

~~~
Internet Video of the Week:

~~~
Ridiculous Story That Actually Appeared in a Publication of the Week:

Here.

Wow.  He wins custody, she kidnaps the kids and he ends up in jail. 

And we thought the US courts were screwed.

~~~
Idiot of the Week:

Whoopi Goldberg. 

According to Goldberg, what Roman Polanski did was not rape.  Getting a 13 year old girl drunk, slipping her some ludes, some lube and some dude is apparently ok in the world 'o Whoopi. 

When discussing the Polanski case on The View, she displayed her heretofore unknown legal prowess, by stating, "I know it wasn't rape-rape. It was something else but I don't believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and when they let him out he was like, 'You know what, this guy's going to give me a hundred years in jail. I'm not staying.' So that's why he left."

Hmm.  First, Whoopi, he was not in jail.  He was in a psychiatric facility for evaluation.  Second, there is no crime called "rape-rape".  It's pretty much rape or not rape.  Third, that "guy" was the judge in the case.  And yes, just-plain-rapists go to jail.  Just like rapist-rapists.

And in an apparent attempt to leave absolutely no doubt that she is an idiot, she went on to say, "would I want my 14-year-old having sex with somebody? Not necessarily, no."

Not necessarily?!?!?!? 

~~~

Vintage Album Review of the Week:

Peter Cetera

Solitude/Solitaire

1986

-Big Mistake (5:39)*

-They Don't Make em Like They Used To (4:04)

-Glory of Love (4:20)*
-Queen of the Masquerade Ball (3:50)
-Daddy's Girl (3:46)
-The Next Time I Fall (3:43)*
-Wake Up to Love (4:29)
-Solitude/Solitaire (4:58)
-Only Love Knows Why (4:29)*
* - singles

Now, we told you some of these albums would be embarrassing.  This would be an example of that.  But in our defense, Chicago 17 was the definitive album of our time and Karate Kid the epitome of great cinema. 

Right?

Ok, ok.  We had shit taste in music.  Happy? 

Still, we owned it and actually paid iTunes to reacquire it, so we need to review it.

When this album came out, we loved it.  It had all the cool new gadgetry of the late 80's -- synthesized drums, synthesized horns, strange sounds of unknown origin -- hell we're not sure a single acoustic instrument was actually used in its creation.  What sounded fresh and new in 1986 though, sounds really dated in 2009.

The formula is pretty simple: take Chicago, get rid of the horns, lean a little more toward Stay the Night than Hard Habit to Break, keep Cetera and add a touch of the horns back in -- but synthesized.  Overproduce the hell out of it and you get Solitude/Solitaire.

Cetera's voice alone gets the album a couple of points.  It's distinctive, if a tad limited in range but we like it.  The lyrics are solid, if not stunning.  The production, while it ruins some songs that might have been pretty good, stole right from the David Foster playbook when it came to the two biggest hits, Glory of Love, which rocketed up the charts once Karate Kid went the 1980's version of viral and The Next Time I Fall, featuring Amy Grant, who took a break from Christian music to make the record (which is probably a good idea, since she would soon be banging a man who was not her husband -- and no longer is).  The two songs, along with Only Love Knows Why all sound like they were probably originally written for Chicago 18, before Cetera bolted.  And honestly, they're really the only three songs that hold up.  Be it because of quality or familiarity, we're not quite sure.  But since these songs are all available on a Greatest Hits album, there is no real reason to buy this one.

Music: 2 (of 5)
Lyrics: 2 (of 5)
Authorship: 2 (of 4)
Production: 1 (of 3)
Packaging: 1 (of 2)
First Blush: 2 (of 2)
Aging: 1 (of 3)
Videos: 1 (of 1)
Total: 12
Stars: 2.4 (of 5)

~~~
Parting shots:  Real AP headline this week: "Saturn Dealers, Owners Shocked Over End of Brand". Umm, how?...The results of last weeks' poll: 66% want minimal givernment intervention in healthcare, 33% want none.  This week's poll is at the bottom of the page...Congratulations to the 2009 National League Eastern Division Champion Philadelphia Phillies.  Let the Playoff Beard flow...Speaking of the MLB playoff scene, we pick PHI over COL, StL over LAD, NYY over MIN and BOS over LAA.

And with that, we bid you adieu.

Until next time,

Keep the Faith