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Item:

Our Super Bowl prediction:

Saints 27 - Colts 23. 

~~~
Item:

Here's some food for thought.

Heisman Award and NCAA championship-winning Tim Tebow is appearing in an ad during the Super Bowl, paid for by conservative Christian group Focus on the Family.  The ad, which has not been made available for review, will have him and his mother in it and it is believed they will talk about his mother's complications while carrying him, her doctors' reccomendations that she terminate the pregnancy, her decision not to and the obvious end results.

Feminist groups have blasted the ad, with the director of the National Organization for Woman (NOW) saying, "it's a shame he chose this day to try to force his agenda down America's throat -- on a day that was created to bring people together, not drive them apart".

Really?  We always thought the Super Bowl was created to figure out who would be champion of the National Football League.

Not speaking to the content of his message, we applaud Tebow for standing up for what he beleieves in, knowing that that same stance could cost him millions of dollars in the NFL draft.  Our guess is the ad is not going to be all fire and brimstone and will probably not be nearly as offensive as the femi-nazis would have you think.  Remember, they have not seen the ad yet, either.

Why are we as a society so afraid to hear a message we may disagree with?  And why do we tell our atheletes and celebrities that they should be role models but then blast them whenever they do something courageous, or -- worse yet -- articulate?  Why can't Miss California give an honest answer to a question about a political issue?

If we have devolved to a point where these types of actions are not acceptable, then don't be bitching the next time your son's favorite player knocks a woman up out of wedlock  or a starlett goes to rehab for the twelfth time.

Can't have it both ways, folks.

~~~
Fare thee well, JD, we'll see you on the Other Side. Save us a healthy dose of teen angst.

~~~
Item:

So we were telling someone the other day just why the Colts should not be allowed to win the Super Bowl -- they screwed over Baltimore.  She didn't get it.  So we started explaining the "rules" to her.  You know -- the rules for winning a championship.  Not familiar with them?  Well, well, we're here to help.

Rule 1:  No team should be allowed to make the playoffs in their first ten years of existence and no championships for the first 25.

Rule 2: No team that deserts a loyal fan base should ever be allowed to win a championship.  There are exceptions to this rule, whereby a vagabond team is eligible for a title.
           --Exception 1:  If the team left because of poor attendance and/or support.
           --Exception 2: The wronged city has won a championship since the team fled and before
                                  the  fleeing team has. (Scorned city must always have one more title than new one)
           --Exception 3: Everybody's dead.  If it has been more than 50 years since the team moved.
           --Exception 4: Any city that has stolen another city's team has no claim on desertion should they
                                  lose their team.
          
Rule 3: Any team that has bad fans, as determined by the Committee (of one) -- no championship for you.

Rule 4: The Baltimore Rule: Baltimore stole the Browns. They can never have a title. In anything. Ever.

Rule 5: Any team that does not play where their name indicates is inelligible to win a title.

Rule 6:  The Dome Rule: If you play in a room, on a rug, you cannot win a championship.

Rule 7: Any team that plays on a rug and not grass, is inelligible to win a title.


This week, lets look at the NFL and see what teams are allowed to win a Super Bowl.

Group A, teams that are out:

Atlanta Falcons -- Bad fan base, games blacked out when they are not playing well. (inelligible until 10 consecutive years of sellouts)
Baltimore Ravens -- The Baltimore Rule (inelligible in perpetuity)
Carolina Panthers -- <25 years old (eligible for playoffs, but not Super Bowl)
Cincinnati Bengals -- Bad fan base (inelligible until 10 consecutive years of sellouts)
Dallas Cowboys -- Shame Rule (inelligible until they move to Dallas or rename the team Arlington)
Denver Broncos -- Rug Rule
Detroit Lions: Dome Rule (inelligible until they grow testicles and play outdoors)
Houston Texans -- <25 years old (inelligible for playoffs or Super Bowl)
Indianapolis Colts -- An interesting quirk here.  The Colts were relieved of their obligation of pennance when the Ravens won a Super Bowl and were free to win their own, and did, a few years ago.  Problem is, they cannot surpass Baltimore in number of post-desertion titles, and Baltimore is forbiden to ever win another one, by nature of the Baltimore Rule.  Sorry Indy.  (ineligible in perpetuity, unless the Ravens move from Baltimore).
Jacksonville Jaguars: <25 years old, and a bad fan base. (inelligible until 10 consecutive years of sellouts)
Minnesota Vikings -- Dome Rule (inelligible until they move outdoors)
New England Patriots -- Rug Rule
New York Giants -- Shame Rule (inelligible until they move to New York or rename team New Jersey)
New York Jets -- See Giants, New York
Seattle Seahawks -- Rug Rule

Group B, teams with issues, and our determination:

Arizona Cardinals.
Violation:  They abandonned two cities.
Mitigation: Everyone in Chicago who was there with the Cardinals is dead or senile; both StL and Chicago have won a Super Bowl since the Cardinals' departure.
Ruling: Eligible

Kansas City Chiefs
Violation: They abandoned Dallas, then won a Super Bowl before the Cowboys.
Mitigation: It was part of the AFL/NFL merger and Dallas was too small for two teams; Dallas went on to win four Super Bowls.
Ruling: Eligible

Oakland Raiders
Violation: They abandoned Los Angeles.
Mitigation: They did so to return to the city they abandonned for LA.
Ruling: 15 years' inelligibility, expires in 2011.

St. Loius Rams
Violation: They abandoned Cleveland
Mitigation: Everyone who was there then, is dead now
Violation: They abandoned Los Angeles
Mitigation: No one cared.
Violation:  They play in a dome.
Mitigation: None
Ruling: Inelligible until they play outdoors

Tennessee Titans
Violation: They abandoned Houston
Mitigation: It's Houston, you'd leave too.  And the fans did not support them.  Still...
Ruling: 20 years' ineligibility

Buffalo Bills
Violation: OJ
Mitigation: None
Ruling: Inelligible until OJ dies (or finds the "real killer")

San Diego Chargers
Violation: They abandoned Los Angeles
Mitigation: They were in the AFL at the time, no one cared and it's like a 90 minute drive if anyone did.
Ruling: Eligible

Group C, Tems with no encumberances to a title (other than, perhaps, talent)

Bears, Browns, Packers, Dolphins, Saints*, Eagles, Steelers, 49ers, Buccaneers, Redskins.

*The Saints have been given a 25-year exception to the Dome and Rug rules, in consideration of the ongoing recovery from Hurricane Katrina.  If they are not playing outside, on grass, in 2030, they become inelligible.

So, of the remaining teams this season, the Saints are the only one allowed to win the Super Bowl.  Next year's eligible teams will be the:

Arizona Cardinals
Chicago Bears
Cleveland Browns
Green Bay Packers
Kansas City Chiefs
Miami Dolphins
New Orleans Saints
Philadelphia Eagles
Pittsburgh Steelers
San Diego Chargers
San Francisco 49'ers
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Washington Redskins

~~~
Quote of the Week:

““The test of our progress is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little.”
--Theodore Roosevelt

~~
Idiot of the Week:

Paul Shirley, former NBA baller, recently-former espn.com contributor, who bashed relief efforts for Haiti, in a piece he wrote for The Mothership. 

Among his gems:

"Very few have said, written, or even intimated the slightest admonishment of Haiti, the country, for putting itself into a position where so many would be killed by an earthquake."

Yeah, because no one would be killed if a major earthquake hit Los Angeles, where you live, jackass.


"Shouldn’t much of the responsibility for the disaster lie with the victims of that disaster?"

Actually, no. In this case, we don't think it was the five year-old girl's fault a fucking earthquake happened.

Just in case he was not condescending and offensive enough, he went on to write this open letter to the Haitian people:


Dear Haitians –

First of all, kudos on developing the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Your commitment to human rights, infrastructure, and birth control should be applauded.

As we prepare to assist you in this difficult time, a polite request: If it’s possible, could you not re-build your island home in the image of its predecessor? Could you not resort to the creation of flimsy shanty- and shack-towns? And could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?

Sincerely,

The Rest of the World

This is offensive on so many levels.  Not to mention it demonstrates an absolute lack of comprehention of the concepts of  geopolitical economics and systemic poverty. 

Look, you don't want to donate, Paul -- no worries.  That is your right.  But pick up a fucking book before castigating a people you have no understanding of.  And then drop to your knees and thank God you grew up in in the United States and never had to endure anything like what those people are dealing with.

Despite your pseudointellectual bullshit, if you were born a poor kid in Haiti, we can pretty much guarantee you'd be a poor man in Haiti right now.  If you were fortunate enough to not burried under 16 tons of concrete.

~~~~
Vintage Album Review of the Week:

Rod Stewart
Camouflage
1984

Infatuation - (5:15)*
All Right Now - (4:42)*
Some Guys Have All the Luck - (4:34)*
Can We Still Be Friends -(3:51)
Bad for You - (5:19)
Heart is on the Line - (4:04)
Camouflage - (5:21)
Trouble - (4:42)
* - singles

By 1984, Rod Stewart, who had started off trying to be a serious songwriter, had forgone all pretense of art and rock 'n roll and had completely sold out to the gods of pop.  With Camouflage, he delivered a half-hearted, short (8-song) set that is polished, but unremarkable.  The only writing he did for it was the lead sinlge, "Infatuation", which he shares a writing credit with two other guys for.  It sounds an awful lot like "Passion" from a few albums prior, so it's not hard to deduce where his "writing" credit came from.  Jeff Beck puts in a decent performance on guitar, but uber-producer Michael Omartian's ham-fisted layering of synthazation pretty much kills most of even that.  Some Guys Have All the Luck is a touchstone pop performance and Rod turns is a pretty good remake of Tod Rungren's "Can We Still Be Friends".  Still, this is a bad album.  The singles can be procured on a Greatest Hits complilation and nothing -- nothing -- else on this LP is worth paying for.  Even the packaging was bad - a rough, non-glossy cover, no liner notes at all and really cheesy-looking labels on thin vynil.

Music: 2 (of 5)
Lyrics: 2 (of 5)
Authorship: 1 (of 4)
Production: 1 (of 3)
Packaging: 0 (of 2)
First Blush: 1 (of 2)
Aging: 1 (of 3)
Videos: 1 (of 1)
Total: 9
Stars: 1.8 (of 5)

~~~
Parting shots:

Congtratulations to Kurt Warner for getting while the gettin's good.  Enjoy playing with -- and recognizing -- the grandkids you will one day have...

And with that, we bid you adieu.

Until next time,

Keep the Faith